8 hours, 28 minutes, and 3 seconds. That's how long it took me to beat Serious Sam 2, over the course of three days. Actually, it was probably closer to 10 hours, because I had to completely replay two levels, but no matter. That's close enough.
Now it's time for PD's Gaming Review. We'll go through each area of a game that is important to me.
Graphics: This game is powered by the new Serious Engine 2, a completely upgraded version of the Serious Engine, which powered the first two Serious Sam games. This engine does not render realistic graphics, they are borderline cartoonish in nature, but they look brilliant. The colors are vivid, and the models are sharp and crisp. All in all, it's very pretty to look at, especially when you are looking at something HUGE on the screen, or looking at landscape from miles away. (Long shots are it's strength.) Also, I noticed that the dark scenes on the volcanic Kleer planet looked the best, so perhaps that is the engine's specialty. I also noticed that every cut-scene in the game was either blurry or grainy -- I'm guessing they used some external rendering program to do them, and it really murdered the quality. (Not the first time I've seen that happen. Painkiller, Red Faction, and Star Wars Jedi Academy come to mind.)
Story: Well, there really isn't much of a story, but that's okay since story isn't why you play a shooter like this. This game picks up right where the first one left off -- Sam started the first game going back in time to try and stop an evil alien overlord known as Mental. The first one took place in ancient Egypt, and the second one continued the "back in time" trend in South America and other places. Serious Sam 2 abandons the time travelling aspect of the game, and instead has Sam teleporting from planet to planet across the universe, collecting pieces of a medallion that will enable him to kick Mental's ass.. It all comes to an end with an epic battle against the Mental Institution on Mental's home planet of Sirius. What carries this game along are Sam's antics in the game, normally transmitted through cut-scenes. A lot of his dialogue and actions are so stupid they're hilarious, with him uttering such lines as "Woo! Now I can really do some gang-banging." and "Finally! Some sci-fi mumbo jumbo." It seems the developers knew this was one of the big draws of the game, and they sapped it for everything it's worth, and beyond. Sam talks a bit TOO much in places, and some of his dialogue is just downright stupid. (Such as the cut-scene where he's banging two bones together, yelling, "Kleers! Come out to play!" NINE TIMES. But sometimes, it's hilarious, like when Sam hooks up with a princess of one of the planets. And the party at a native village where Sam gets sloshed. Golden!
Gameplay: Croteam was obviously listening when their last Serious Sam game was reviewed, particular to the part where everyone said, "More of just mindless running and gunning." Don't get me wrong, there's still LOTS of running and gunning in this game. (And I *LOVE* running and gunning!) However, the developers also threw in lots of other tasks to keep us busy. The biggest addition were the tons of vehicles that Sam can now drive. All of these were just so much fun, they had me squealing like an orgasmic warthog. I particularly enjoyed the mid-air battle late in the game against at least 200 enemy planes. Another innovation was the Reality TV show from Hell when we first land on Sirius. Sam is dropped into a Mental version of The Amazing Race where he must endure three days of challenges, such as running through a jungle obstacle course, needing to pass through checkpoints before a certain amount of time so the necklace around his head doesn't blow his head off, and the track challenge where he gets inside a gigantic ball and jumps through flaming hoops (all the while destroying HORDES of Mental's forces.)
Artificial Intelligence: It's a bit better than it was in the first two games, but it's nowhere on par with games like Doom 3 or Half-Life 2. Some of the newer enemies, such as the Footballer, actually run for cover and hide before attacking, rather than just running at you head first. The Kleers and Werebulls zigzag their way towards you know, instead of running in a straight line. And the new enemy helicopters will actually dodge your slower moving weapons, such as the rocket launcher. But most of it is more of the same, but like I said, I'm not complaining about that.
Bottom line: Croteam went in a different direction on this one, aiming for the humorous, or downright absurd. For the most part, it works, and the result is a very enjoyable shooter for people who are looking for a change from the story-driven, uber realistic shooters that have been coming out over the past few years.
PD says 82%.
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