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Showing posts from May, 2012
My boss uses certain phrases quite often that I feel should be stricken from the English language.  Some of them don't even exist in the English language, and that makes them even worse.

"Same sheet of music"
This one just irritates me.  He uses this as a way of saying "I want to ensure we all know what is going on."

"Escapegoat"
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?  It's SCAPEGOAT.

"Smoke Testing"
This term in and of itself doesn't irritate me.  It's just that he uses it too fucking often.

"A lot on our plate"
Just fucking say we've got a lot of work to do.  You're just making me hungry with all this talk about things on a plate.

"Dry runs"
Seriously, this makes me think of powdered diarrhea.  He uses this as a term to describe testing a scripted demonstration or training session before hand. 

I've Never Heard of Poets of the Fall Before Tonight

Tonight I finished Alan Wake's American Nightmare, and it took me just under three hours in total.  That is short, yes, but I knew that going into the game.  It's basically glorified DLC, and I'm fine with that.  I have several things that I think are worth talking about.

First, the variety of enemies.  Aside from the Splitters, the next new kind of enemy I ran across actually surprised me a bit:  Big spiders.  People who make video games seem to think every person that plays them has arachnophobia.  I certainly wouldn't like seeing a spider as big as a dog coming at me, but they don't cause me to be scared.  I found their addition to Alan Wake to be quite out of place.  So that wasn't so good.  The next new thing also surprised me, but this time in a GOOD way.  If you remember the first game, you had to deal with black birds -- they are probably crows or ravens -- that would swoop down on you in a big murder.  This happened to me tonight, and Alan's quip w…

Waking Up in a Nightmare

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If you haven't read the three posts that I made about Alan Wake back in February, I recommend that you go check them out before reading this post.  Don't worry, I'll wait.  
Back?  Good.  On Tuesday, the...damn, I don't know what to call this.  I was going to say DLC.  But it's not.  Alright.  It's called Alan Wake's American Nightmare, and it's a standalone release.  I guess I would call it a continuation of the original game, but your guess is as good as mine.  Like the first game, the story is very classic, very basic science fiction.  (Hint:  That means you won't really know what the balls is going on.)

So we'll just keep it simple and say it's a continuation.  If you don't want spoilers, stop reading now.  The first game ended on a rather sour note, and I think I complained about it back in February.  This game solves that problem, actually, because you're given hints that this is really picking up right where the first game left …
Do you know what's odd?  I really love the smell of coffee, but I borderline detest the taste of it.  I think that, perhaps, I have an addiction to sugar, or just to sweet tasting things in general.  That may explain my equal dislike for vegetables.

I don't necessarily have a point here.

Nothing puts a big, fat wedge between two sides of the gaming community than a AAA title that's taken 10 years to release.  Unless it's Duke Nukem Forever.  We all agree that we hate that one.  

No, I'm talking about Diablo 3 of course.  

It just so happens that I quite like the game, and I would like to share my views in some way, shape, or form.  To do so, I decided the best thing to do would be to pick apart a negative review of the game.  My reasons for doing so aren't to try and "prove myself right", or prove the writer of this other article "wrong" -- this is opinion, after all, and there is no right or wrong.  No, it's more because I needed talking points, and this article provides them to me.  It's also an effort to show you that there's always more than one viewpoint when it comes to...well, anything, really.  

The article I'm dissecting can be found here:
http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2012/05/18/how-diablo-iiis-solo-experienc…
So far, this has been a lovely month for fantasy.

To start with, I've been reading The Wind through the Keyhole.  The Dark Tower series has always been a bit borderline on its fantasy.  It definitely has it, but it also has a lot of other things too, such as horror, western, science fiction, and good 'ol fashioned drama.  So you never totally get that immersive feel that you'd get reading, say, Tolkien.  This book is different, however.  I'm currently in the story that is the story within the story in the story (yes, you heard me), and it's very much fantasy.  I mean, there are dragons!  Can't get more fantasy than that.

Next, getting back into Skyrim has been some good relaxing therapy for me.  It's no secret that work has been a major pain in my ass lately, and it's been nice to be able to unwind with it some more.  Also, I like how the size of the game to be BEFORE I replayed it was "huge", but now it's "fucking huge" because …
In addition to the current subjects currently being taught in public schools, I have one that should be added to the list:  "How to properly voice your own opinion."

I say this because a vast majority of people have no idea how to properly do this.  I shall share with you the most controversial example of this that I can find:

This week, the state of North Carolina amended their constitution, adding vague verbiage to define marriage as being between a man and a woman only.  One of the supporters of this passage said, and I quote:

"We are not anti-gay; we are pro-marriage.  And the point -- the whole point -- is simply that you don't rewrite the nature of God's design for marriage based on the demands of a group of adults."

Okay, let's get down to the business of picking this quote apart piece by delicious piece.

I will avoid a few things here to make this short.  I won't go into my distaste for organized religion, for one thing.  I also won't go int…
I am amazed that my ancestors even made it onto this continent from Europe.  Given how fucking INEPT we as humans are at driving in the rain, the European explorers should have drowned on the trip over here.
I saw a meme the other day featuring the Y U NO guy.  It said, "Seasons, Y U NO in order this year?!"  It made me laugh because it's pretty accurate.  The winter was incredibly mild.  It was actually quite nice, but we're going to pay for it.  I seem to recall reading somewhere that mild winters lead to summers that are really bad for bugs.  This makes sense to me when I think about it -- if it doesn't get cold enough to freeze quite deeply under the ground, then all those damned eggs the insects laid are going to survive.  Lots of them.  I think it will be quite unpleasant.

In any case, the seasons really were out of whack.  We had three weeks of wintry-type weather in late April, and that really sucked.  It was really nice out for just about all of March and part of April.  Because of this, as you may recall me posting here, I started a bunch of seeds indoors, thinking that I would plant them sometime in late April.  Given my description of late April above, yo…
I'm sitting here testing a VBA coded Excel spreadsheet.  As I'm testing, I'm wondering how the hell any of this is going to be ready in 10 days.  I'm also shaking my head at how ridiculous my job is.  I am the "Conversion Manager" by title; this means that I handle new, incoming accounts that sign up for this particular software service.  The manager portion of the title is also quite laughable.  I don't manage anyone.

Nor do I do anything else that is described in my job title.

This isn't necessarily a problem for me, because I enjoy most of what I do.  But it begs the question:  Whose job am I doing, and why are they getting paid more money than me for not doing it?  And yeah, I know, "Oh, you should just be happy you have a job!  There are so many people who are unemployed!"  You know what?  Fuck you.  If I wanna bitch about the incompetence of the human race in a corporate structure, I'm going to fucking do it!

To list all the hats I…
I like bad movies.  I think the reason for this is because most of the time, bad movies are a hell of a lot more fun than good movies.  For example, I rather enjoyed the movie 2012.  It was a cool idea, I love John Cusack, and I just really enjoyed it.  The Artist, on the other hand, can go die in a fire.

Perhaps the problem is that my definition of a bad movie is incorrect.  I suppose it's logical to conclude that just because critics don't like a movie, well, that doesn't necessarily make it bad.  I'll use the movie 2012 as an example.  The critics didn't particularly like that movie.  Does that make it bad?  Perhaps not.  Popular opinion on the movie is also negative.  I hate using Metacritic -- I honestly wish the website would die in a fire, too -- but the movie is old enough now that the user reviews should be a rather accurate representation of what the average person thinks of it.  So that's two strikes against the film, I suppose.  On the other hand, t…