Showing posts from March, 2011
Stop saying the new Minecraft wolves are "adorable".  Badly pixelated squares and blocks are not adorable.  A neat mechanic?  Yes.  Fun?  Yes.  Useful?  Yes.  Adorable?  NO.
I'm writing again.  It's been a while since I've written anything — one year and one month to be exact. 

It feels good to try it again.  Now playing:Lykke Li - Get Some

On Today's Menu...

Fridays around the office tend to be a bit amusing.  Today was no exception.

When it was time to discuss lunch, my group decided to order food from this Italian pizza shop called Milano.  I had just finished collecting everyone's orders and monies when Bernie came over to ask us where we were getting lunch, and that she was also ordering from Milano.

We decided that we're just order separately, since we both wanted to pay with our credit cards.  Bernie and I looked at each other, expressions of realization and competitive determination forming on our faces, and then we both dashed for our phones, each determined to get our food order called in first.

I got my call in first, and I was giving the lady my order, I could hear the phone ring in the background.  I quickly said, "Don't answer that!  It's someone else from my office!  I want my food first!"

This made the lady laugh, and soon I could hear Bernie across the office yelling, "WHY AREN'T THEY A…

A Question of Quality

When I hear someone state that the music industry is in the toilet, and that everything coming out these days is crap, I take exception to it.

I will digress that these days there IS a lot of crap out there.  *Looks at Justin Bieber.*  *Looks at Rebecca Black.*  *Looks at any so-called singer who uses Autotune.*

But while I won't argue that point, I will argue the fact that despite there being a whole lot of crap out there, there is also a whole lot of very good, high quality music being released.  Just because there's a crap song with 30 million views on YouTube doesn't mean it's the whole representation of today's music.  You'd be an idiot if you thought that.

On the contrary, there's more diversity when it comes to music these days than ever before.  There's probably a genre for ANYONE, and all you need to do is find what you like.  It isn't too hard.

So while I do enjoy listening to my favorite stuff from my teenage years, my childhood, and e…

Motorist Science

It's amusing how the human mind works.  Today I performed an observational scientific experiment on how stupid people are.  Here are my results.

When entering a one-lane construction zone, the following things occur when it is the slow lane that is the closed lane:

1. The human will irrevocably forget that despite the fact that currently there is only ONE lane to drive in, there are actually TWO available lanes to utilize once the construction zone ends.

2. The human will also be too stupid to notice that when the construction zone ends, there's a nice, shiny lane to their right for them to drive in (too fucking slowly, I might add).

When entering a one-lane construction zone, the following things occur when it is the fast lane that is the closed lane:

1. The human will remember that two lanes do exist, even though currently there is only one usable lane within the construction zone.

2. The human will be COMPELLED to immediately move over into that shiny open lane as soon as …


I hate it when a developer utterly screws up an idea that could be fantastic.  It really pisses my mittens.  Homefront is one of these cases, and the sad part about it is that they had all they needed to make a great game.  The biggest thing they have in their favor is the fact that the story is written by the same person who wrote Apocalypse Now and, more importantly, Red Dawn. 

Red Dawn is basically the exact same premise as Homefront — America is invaded and the story focuses not on the overall conflict, but on a small group of resistance fighters and their story.  THIS idea can make a great game, it really could.  But, sadly, the story of Homefront doesn't capture that, and instead comes across as just another Call of Duty clone. 

I'm further frustrated by the fact that the gameplay makes me want to punch babies.  I swear to the fucking gods, if I randomly die one more fucking time without warning I'm going to stab someone.  One time, I was in the back of a truck with …

Dragon Age II

I wanted to wait as long as I could before making a post about this game, mainly because I wanted to play a lot of it before deciding if it was worth my praise.  I think I'm far enough through it to justify a post.  Besides, I have the time right now and this will serve as a much needed distraction.

It's obviously impossible to go into this game without making comparisons.  First, you'll compare it to the first game.  That's a given.  Secondly, you'll compare it to all other single-player epic fantasy RPG games.  Also a given.  More obtusely, I also found myself comparing it to Bioware's other RPG franchise, Mass Effect, specifically comparing DA2 to ME2.  So I'll share my comparisons of each of these three. 

Hawke in the prologue, maxed out with lovely looking gear.

When compared to Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age II is far and away a superior game.  Everything has been improved, to include the graphics, the voice acting, the combat, the user interface, and …

Transcending Language Barriers

So we've all heard about that huge earthquake in Japan, and the subsequent tsunamis and after-shocks that followed.  Very tragic stuff, and I wish all the best to those affected by it.

It seems to be having a weird affect on our customers.  We had a conference call at 10:00 AM this morning with one of our customers, and she was very zen about the bugs in the system, for once.  She was praising our efforts, and even mentioned that she realizes she needs to work with us to resolve them.  She also mentioned that what happened in Japan could have happened to anyone.  Human nature is so weird.  This catastrophe compelled her to be a more reasonable customer, at least for now.  I just find that fascinating.

On a more humorous note, we got a company-wide email from one of our employees who lives and works in Japan.  The email was fairly simple:  She was just saying that she is fine, and thanked everyone for their concern.  She lives in Tokyo, which is "relatively" safe.  A fe…

GTFO the Road!

On Wednesday, Jeff came into the office and told me that he noticed my car door appeared to be open.  Not wide open, mind you, but not shut properly either.  Frowning, I went outside to look, and indeed it was open a tiny bit.  I shut the door again, and it appeared to be fine, and I thought nothing of it until I went to lunch later in the day.

When I got back from lunch, I instinctively paid attention to the door as I closed it, and it did not shut properly once again.  I mucked around with it a bit, and could not get it to close.  It was as if the latch on the door was broken and failing to catch.

So, I called the dealership and scheduled an appointment for Thursday.  This means I got to work from home, which is always a welcome change to the daily routine.  It turns out the lock on the door was faulty, and the dealership fixed it.  My car is still under warranty, so it's all good.

That was sort of a boring story, I realize, but something interesting did happen on my way to p…

But I Want to Slay Dragons...

I've discovered a bit of a flaw in my current raiding schedule.  Specifically, raiding on Tuesdays sucks because that's when new games are released.  Heh.  Dragon Age 2 comes out today, and I won't be able to play it until probably Friday.  (Tue-Wed = Raiding and Thu = Poker Night)


But, if there's one thing I've learned very well, it's the art of patience.  (This is mostly due to two things:  First, that I'm in a relationship with someone who lives thousands of miles away, and second, he does not possess any patience whatsoever.  *grins*)

In any case, Dragon Age 2 is out and I already know it's amazing because I read PC Gamer's review on it last week.  I also read something interesting this morning:  Bioware has a "high-definition graphic/texture pack" that you can download from their website and patch into your game to make it even look more amazing.  The patch is 1 GB (holy shit).  I haven't seen this done since Valve patched the …

Give Me a Damn Gun!

I recently purchases Dead Rising 2, because I heard from a reliable source that it is quite an excellent game.  Now, while I will most certainly agree that it is an excellent game, it is unfortunately not MY type of excellent game.  The reason for this is quite simple.  When I kill zombies, I like to shoot them in the head.  It's really that simple.  Therefore, the melee-heavy play-style of DR2 just doesn't do much for me at all, sadly.

However, I think that the construction aspect of the game will sort of make up for the lack of firearms.  I just don't know if I can tolerate the game long enough for me to get to that point -- I've been playing an hour already, and all I have for weapons are an axe, a broom, and a pair of scissors.  Ooh.  >_>

My Wall Was Thirsty

I had a bit of a disaster at work yesterday.  It was one of those more humorous and entertaining spectacles, thankfully, and not the stressful kind.  I prefer the former. 

I went to lunch with Danielle and Matt, and we ate at Arby's.  As and aside, I haven't been to Arby's in at least a half a year.  It was a nice change of pace from the usual lunches I have.  In any case, we at there and I bought my drink back to the office with me.  It was a large Dr. Pepper. 

We get back to the office, and I return to my desk.  I set my drink down beside me and start going through all the emails that had come in since I'd left.  One of them was an email from my boss, requesting that I go see him after lunch.  Having read that one, I stood up, grabbed my drink, and turned to go see him.  As I turned, I caught my drink on the corner of my cubicle.  This simultaneously popped the top off of the drink and knocked it out of my hand, sending it spiralling towards my wall, where it landed …

I'll Kill Your Dicks!

As a continuation of my obvious fanboying of Bullestorm from yesterday, here are some more screenshots with commentary.  Enjoy!

So, riding along this train while being chases by a giant wheel, gyrocopters, dune buggies, and another traincar.  Fun stuff.  In this shot, I'd just blown up the enemy train.

Yes, I'm controlling that thing.  Yes, he's huge.  And yes, it was fucking awesome.  I have my own personal Godzilla!

The evil bandits are being massacred by even eviler cannibalistic bandits.  Oh noes!


Yes.  She said, “I will kill your dicks!”.  That line is so stupid and so irreverent…but still, I laughed my ass off.  And him REPEATING IT…

“What?  What does that even mean?  You're going to kill my dick?”  I…have no words.  Bahahahaha!

Ok, so, now I should explain the part of the game that made me squee like a little girl.  I walked into this area with a sniper, took him out, and naturally grabbed his sniper rifle.  I then took aim through the scope and shot at an enemy r…


I can't remember the last time a game made me squee louder than a female tween who just saw Edward from Twilight walking down the street.  And that's a pretty fucking loud squee.  I'm quite glad no one was around to hear it. 

Bulletstorm is a game that takes everything fun about a shooter, condenses it into a nice little package, and serves it to you in one big serving.  Covered in chocolate.  With whip cream.  And sprinkles. 

You get the idea.

Ok, first the premise.  The premise is that this game is so much fucking fun who gives a shit about a premise?  But if you insist ––  two guys crash land on a planet after driving their spaceship through a larger spaceship, and they now have to escape while also maybe perhaps at the same time seeking revenge for assassinating innocent people on the orders of some old, ugly guy who swears more than Richard Pryor.

But none off that really matters when your shooting bad guys in the ASS with a SHOTGUN.  And getting rewarded for it!

The who…