Well that was fast...

Hmph, it's New Year's Eve already. What the hell just happened? Anyway, I've been noticing the atypical trend of new year's resolutions. The one I've seen the most: "I resolve to take all things in moderation." WTF kind of resolution is that? You may as well just not make one. Or maybe that's the whole point.

So anyway, after getting the last of the bloody honor I needed for my HWL staff in WoW, I needed a well deserved break today. Well, actually, I needed explosions. Big explosions. So I continued replaying Half-Life 2 as I had started last week, and got to the levels in the canals with the airboat. Man I love that level. Things were falling off the walls as I was taking down the helicopter by the dam, as it dropped hundreds of hydromines. Fun stuff.

Now I'm off to the New Year's party. Happy New Year to all!

Dick in a box

Golden!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmdwBmmuaNE

Worst Office Name Ever

Gen Italia


You know, when I saw this, I really thought I had read it incorrectly. But no. What a terrible way to abbreviate Genoa, Italy.

It's almost as bad as the tourist website for Lake Tahoe, NV. Their slogan is "Go Tahoe!". So, their website is www.gotahoe.com

GOT A HOE!!!


I'm such an adolescent.

Tis the season...

Went shopping Friday night, finally. I took my Mom, my sister, and my brother-in-law with me, since shopping with my family always ends up being a memorable experience for any number of reasons. Almost getting thrown out of Giant Eagle for playing lightsabers with the gift wrap tubes was an especially nice touch.

As we were wandering through Wal-Mart, I happened upon these unique chairs. Personally, I was going to buy the pink ones, but we settled on brown. See below. All we need now are some fuzzy cupholders and we'll be set. Gonna take these to tonight's party. Oh yes.

FEAR XP End

I finished this game at around 5:00 AM this morning.

All I gotta say is WOW. I hate the fact that nothing was resolved, and I learned NOTHING new. Obviously, they plan on making another one. Going past that, however, the final levels utterly blew me away. This game has surpassed The Suffering as the scariest I've ever played.

The screenshot above from the morgue level should pretty much sum it up. Picture that drawer coming open super-fast as you approach it. Undies soiling material right there.

RIP Mary Blum

September 2, 1918 - December 19, 2006

She will be missed.

Does this look like Ernie Hudson to you?

More F.E.A.R.

When I played the original F.E.A.R., there were many aspects of the game that I really, really enjoyed. Two of these were the incredible slo-mo gunplay and the knack the game had for scaring the shit out of me. I was hoping both of these elements would be present in the expansion pack, and I wasn't disappointed.


The game picks up exactly where the original left off: the horror moppet climbed into your helicopter and crashed it, and now you're in the middle of a ruined city and must make your way to the extraction point. Things, of course, are never just that easy. Somehow, the main villain that you killed in the first game isn't quite dead, and his army of clones are on the rampage again. Major slo-mo gun battles ensue.

One particular event in the game has stuck with me so far. After the incident in the first game, there were three members of the F.E.A.R. team left, including the playable character. You catch up with one of these other team members, and actually play through a whole level with them. Then, you get to watch him get torn apart by an invisible attacker that you can't see nor kill. You're helpless to do anything to save him.

This sequence reminded me very much of the end of Prey, where you have to kill the girl you've been trying to save for the entire game. I really enjoy when games are able to evoke emotions like that -- it makes the gameworld all the more immersive and enjoyable.


All in all, this game is equal to it's predecessor in every way. The only complaint I have thus far is a strange bug I've experienced 3 times now -- It seems that certain objects make my computer lag really bad, turning my FPS into a slideshow. It's been triggered by a car in flames, a crashed plane in flames, and a boss-fight. When I would face the car, plane, or boss, by frame rate would take a dump. Turning my back on the objects would fix the problem. Very strange. It certainly made beating the boss much more difficult, but it's only happened these three times so far. I'm not sure what's causing it either. On the plane, when I got closer to it, the problem stopped.

Other than that, it's golden.

Click Me

I heard the buzz when Click first came out, and also all the negative reviews from critics. I finally got around to watching the movie today, and overall I would say it was a good movie. Predictable, but good. I was able to guess how it was all going to end about 15 minutes into it. To me, they made it painfully obvious. But maybe that was their intent, to drive home the message of the movie. It doesn't matter that you know how it's going to end...just enjoy the ride.

All the usual Adam Sandler moments were present, and as usual he surrounded himself with his usual cohorts (especially Henry Winkler and Sean Astin). Especially entertaining was Henry Winkler comparing his penis to a tic-tac at birth.

"C'mere pops, lemme freshen your breath."


Hahahaha.....ewwwwww.

...

My grandmother isn't doing so well. Got a call around 2:30 AM yesterday informing us that her heart rate has become irregular, and that she's sometimes going nearly a full minute without breathing. Obviously, she doesn't have much time left.

We've been doing shifts at the nursing home since last night while waiting for the inevitable. Sadly, it could be days still. There's just no way to know.

I knew I liked Lou Dobbs for a reason...

Good article, have a read:
http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/12/12/Dobbs.Dec13/index.html

What the hell is this?!

OMG! The unthinkable has happened.....

I made a new Counter-Struck! comic. Oh yes.

Check it: http://www.pastatdude.com/comic/

The Midget Story

Every once in a while, something so unbelievable happens that you could probably win the Powerball 100 times before anything like it will happen again. Today, such an event occurred.

I was talking to one of my team members today, and the subject of our visitor was brought up. One of the product managers from our corporate office is visiting us this week, so I was explaining what he did, what his title was, etc. I then jokingly added, "He's sitting over on the other side near Ed. Just look for the midget operating a laptop and cell phone."

Some time passed. Soon I noticed Mark go outside for a smoke, and I continued on with my work as usual. Suddenly, he comes running into my cubicle with this wide-eyed expression on this face.

"You're an asshole!" He exclaimed.

"What now?" I asked, trying to recall if I had performed any such practical jokes that would justify such a proclaimation. He then pointed out my window, and I turned, looked, and my jaw then dropped onto my desk. Leaving the office building at that very moment was a midget.

"Are you fucking with me on purpose?" He asked.

I was laughing too hard to even respond, and also in shock at how SLIM, ANOREXICALLY SLIM, the odds were of what just happened. I can just imagine the confusion he had when he walked outside for a cigarette to see a midget standing in front of him, after the joke I made about our product manager. Absolutely golden.

Later on, I told him that I considered paying the midget $20 to walk back to his desk, just to hear him scream like a girl.

"Yep, I would scream like a girl. Actually, I probably wouldn't even be able to handle it."
"Well you don't have to worry, he's gone now. Or *IS* he?"
"Dude, that's not funny..."


We'll be talking about this for a long time. The day started out so small and insignificant too. (Pun intended.)

This is your wake up call...

For some strange reason, this morning I just couldn't wake up. It took me so long to drag my sorry ass out of bed that I was nearly late for work, which I found odd because I didn't go to bed any later the night before. Things did not improve when I stumbled into work either, as I found myself constantly nodding off at my desk. Taking matters into my own hands, I proceeded to consume 2 cans of cherry soda, a package of chocolate chip cookies, and two excedrin migraines. Problem was solved about about 20 minutes, although I'm sure my fellow co-workers were getting pretty annoyed with me bouncing up and down in my chair for the rest of the day.

The Exorcism of Rate Builder

Among many of the job titles I have at work, one of them is Product QA Analyst. Which, naturally, is a glorified term for "tester". We have a product called ORB, which has an SQL structure and a web-based front end.

We're releasing a new version soon, going from 6.1 to 6.2. Anyone who works in the software industry knows that when it comes to software versions, a number change directly to the right of the decimal point signifies significant changes. Oh joygasm.

A fellow tester and myself were given 14 test cases, so 7 each. 9 of these 14 failed. I swear, it was like something out of a horror movie.
The script would look something like this:

Me: Hello ORB, how are you today?
ORB: Just fine thanks! I've been upgraded with many new features!
Me: That's great! Let's try the first one, shall we?
ORB: Yes, just press this button, and I will perform the function flawlessly.

*I press the button*

ORB: YAAAAAARGH! LET JESUS FUCK YOU! MMMMMMRAAAAAAARGH!
Internet Explorer: ¡SOY MUERTO!

*Internet Explorer dies*

ORB: RAAAAAAARGH! YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL! GRRRRRRRRAAGHR!
Windows: AIEEEEEEE!!!!!!

*windows dies*

ORB: GRAAAAAAAAGHRGH! TSEIRP EHT REAF! RRRRAWWWWWRGH!

*ORB's head spins around completely*


Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find a debugger. (Which translates to "GET ME A BLOODY PRIEST AND SOME HOLY WATER! WE NEED A FUCKING EXORCISM HERE!")