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Showing posts from February, 2006

Strange Bumper Sticker

I saw the weirdest bumper sticker today:

Why stroke it when you could be cumming?

And they WEREN'T referring to masturbating, because it matched the logo on the top part of the truck for a company called Cummings. Worst catchphrase ever!

In other news, a big dumptruck was on fire in town on my way home. The doods in the truck were freaking out, driving down the road with their truck on fire. Now, given the situation, what is the most reasonable thing to do? I'm not exactly sure, but do you know what they did? Yeah.....they pulled into the gas station.

FAILED!

Can't we all just get along?

The answer, sadly, is no. Human beings will never be able to get along.

There's just too many factors to contribute to the contrary. Race, sex, religion, politics, age, sports, fashion, sexual orientation, occupation....just a few of the limitless things that cause people to fight with each other. I have never, ever, not even once, heard these words:

"Well, I disagree, but I respect your opinion."

Never. Usually it's more like, "I hate you and the thing you believe in!"
Or, the more popular, "I hate you and will try to change the way you think!"

Give me a break.

There is a very thin line here that is difficult to see. I pose this question:

You have one person that thinks murder is okay. You have one person who is about to murder someone.

Stopping the person who is about to murder someone is the right thing to do, because murder is wrong. Isn't that right? Would it then also be right to try and change how person #1 thinks, given that logic?

If s…

Things that make you go "Awww crap!"

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I have the power to bring technology to a screetching halt.

And no, I'm not the fucking Lawnmower Man.

I went to the supermarket today, because I needed some Nestea. I buy the raspberry iced tea by the 12-fridge pack. A week ago, those were on sale -- 4 for $10. However, when I went to get some, they were all out. So, I got a rain check.

Cut to today. I go there, get my iced tea, go checkout, and then hand the rain check to the cashier. And then the fun began.

Right off the bat, the girl didn't know how to handle a rain check. So she called this other lady over. The other lady made an attempt, and failed. So, another lady came over. This lady figured it out, but in the process deleted all the other items I had bought which then had to be unbagged and rescanned. They had to swipe my Giant Eagle advantage card 4 times. It got to the point where the woman actually got out a pen and started adding things up on a piece of paper. I bought the computer system to its KNEES with a slip of paper!

Finally, they got correct. I then swi…

Bitching

My family is a bunch of whiners. No, really. Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, that's all they know how to do. Why all the bitching? I dunno.

Tonight was a bit odd, and not particularly in a good way. Nothing bad happened to me though, so I'm not complaining. Here's the story though:

When I left for work this morning, my mother says to me, "When you get home from work, call Paula and she'll come pick you up in her minivan so you can go get your TV." (Paula is my sister-in-law.) I was confused, but said OK. (I'm quite capable of asking for favors on my own, and I didn't see why my mother took it upon herself to do this. But whatever...)

To ensure that we weren't going to be making a wasted trip to the store to get said TV, I stopped on my way home and scoped things out. Sure enough, there was indeed one of them sitting underneath the display, so I was good to go. (A 32" for $249. Not too shabby.)

I call my mother as I'm leaving the sto…

Bargain Hunter

My skills in finding a great deal on merchandise is nearly unrivaled. As such, I know that when I need a new coat, the first place I need to stop is Kaufmanns, because they always have a sale going on in the men's clothes department.

So yeah, it was time for a new coat. I've had my old one for about 5 years now, it's got a few irremovable spots on it, never did fit quite right, lost a button, ripped off a belt loop, and for a winter coat, it's not really heavy enough.

So I get to Kaufmanns, and start hunting around. Right off the bat, all men's coats were 40% off. Woo! Next, there were coupons for them as well, which was an additional 15%. Double woo! After all the sales, coupons, etc, I got a $300 coat for $75. Mwa-hahahahaha.

Boo hoo...

Quote from the coach of the Seattle Seahawks:


Holmgren, a former chairman of the NFL's rule-making competition committee, fueled the debate Monday during a rally for the Seahawks at Qwest Field when he said, "We knew it was going to be tough going up against the Pittsburgh Steelers. I didn't know we were going to have to play the guys in the striped shirts as well."
So if we wouldn't have gotten that touchdown that you say we shouldn't have gotten (which we did, get over it), the score would have been 14-10. You still lose. Sorry. The officials tried to fuck us over every game, so now you see what we had to deal with all season.

And we still won. Fancy that.

What game?

Yeah, I didn't quite catch the game. I was too busy staring into a toilet, puking my innards out while sipping soda to avoid the dry heaves (which came later anyway). Good times!

But yeah, today was the big parade downtown. Madness I tell you. There were probably 200,000 people lining the streets of Pittsburgh, watching everyone go by. I've honestly never seen anything like it, the whole city pretty much just shut down.

Merry Candlemas

Candlemas has to be one of the weirdest holy days in my religion (Roman Catholic). I've always been fascinated by it, and the ritual that goes along with it -- the blessing of the throats.

Since Candlemas was Friday, the priest blessed throats today after mass. All he does is place two candles against your throat and says a small prayer. The belief is that this will ward off any illnesses throughout the year, and the ritual is done in honor of St. Blaise, who was beaten, attacked with iron carding combs, and beheaded for his beliefs. (Do you know how much it would hurt to be beaten with an iron carding comb? Those are the bristled instruments used to brush/wash raw fibers such as llama fur. Ouch.)

There's another part of Candlemas that closely resembles Groundhog's Day. "If Candlemas be sunny and bright, Winter again will show its might. If Candlemas be dark and grey, Winter will soon fade away."

Also, Candlemas is the day that all the candles in the church …

Oh the places I've been...

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After completing several quests in Guild Wars, I'm beginning to see just how big the world is. Massive comes to mind. And I love the variety of the different areas as well, from the snow capped mountains of Wizard's Folly to the organic countryside of Lakeside County. And the dank, dark, creepy atmosphere of the catacombs. It's all very detailed, and great to look at. As far as RPG games go, the graphics are high end. (Still sub-par to graphics in such games in Half-Life 2 and Doom 3 however. But, I realize that for a game of this scale to have graphics THAT detailed, it would take about 100 Skynets to render them.)

In other news, I was out of cereal today and needed to get another box, so it was off to the grocery store. I was having a craving for Cookie Crisp, and as I entered the cereal aisle I found there was but ONE box left. As I'm standing there about to pick it up, I can hear this little warthog of a child coming down the aisle with his mother, screaming…

Uh-oh...

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This is bad. REALLY bad. I started playing Guild Wars, and I think I'm going to be an addict. Two hours just VANISHED. Gone! Ever since I got my customized Elemental staff (hehe), I've been hooked. It's just so much fun!

My character's name is Chiitsu Bane (yes I made it up), and he's an Elementalist. My second profession is Ranger. I've got a few magical staffs, and a couple of bows. I forgot how much I hate STARTING an RPG. You're all weak and have nothing, and it sucks. However, it makes it all the more great when you start beinga bad ass. Oh yes. Bad ass!

Well, I'm off to play for another God knows how long. This is bad..........really bad.........

And what's is even WORSE, is that the game is really neat in that you can MINIMIZE it at ANY TIME to go back to windows. Yes, there is a minimize button at the top right corner. Do you know what this means? I'll never close the game! I'll just leave the damn thing open all the …

T.V.

My TV puked, the poor thing. That's not particularly the main purpose of this post, however it is related albeit still useless information. On my way home from work today, Flagpole Sittah by Harvey Danger came on the radio, and I realized I can now relate to that song in a whole new way now that my TV is busted.

Been around the world and found that only stupid people are breeding. The cretins cloning and feeding. And I don't even own a TV.


See? It was written for me!