Wednesday, April 30, 2008

This is one of those stories that is probably going to be funny only to me. But what the hell...I'm going to tell it anyway.

I sit one cube over from a guy named Mark. Mark and I get along rather well, as we have a very similar sense of humor (sarcastic and observant). We crack jokes through the wall all the time, and we can also talk face to face if we both stand up from our workstations.

The two of us were already in a laughing mood from the Indian music video (see yesterday's post), so we probably would have busted out laughing at anything even remotely comical. We were standing up talking about the large amounts of work that we're supposed to be getting (but haven't yet), and I jokingly told him that I found a place to dispose of any unwanted work. I then pointed at the cabinet of drawers at my desk.

He looked at me with a puzzled expression, and I showed him what I meant by shoving the file folder I was holding into a slit between the top drawer and the frame of the cabinet (much like a mail slot, only thinner). He laughs and jokingly asks, "Where'd it go?!". I open the drawer to get my folder back, and the drawer is empty. We look at each other with these dumbfounded expressions on our faces, and then just bust out laughing hysterically.

(The folder slid so far back, it was completely out of sight -- I could have done it again if I tried.)

As I said, probably not very funny -- but we entertain ourselves anyway we can in order to get through a typical day of work.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

When someone sends me an Indian music video, I'm rightfully suspicious. I've heard Indian music, and I typically cannot listen to it in the presence of sharp instruments, for fear of stabbing myself in the ears.

This, however, is an exception. Someone went through and subtitled this music video, and I must say they NAILED it. If that's not what they're singing, I'll eat curry salmon. So freaking hilarious.

Watch it.

Monday, April 28, 2008

The Astro A40 Audio System

Sounds like an elaborate stereo system, doesn't it? In reality though, this is the name of my new headset.

I was hesitant to go back to a headset that wasn't a USB-based connection, mostly because I've tried such headsets before. Either the sound quality would suck, or the microphone quality would suck. Both would never be perfect.

This new headset is finally perfect in both regards. And beyond.

To start with, this headset can be connected in many different ways. First, the most simplest: You plug it into the Headset/Microphone jack in the front of your PC. That's it.

Or, the most complicated -- a USB connector to power the control box, with 4 other connectors for the different sound card ports.

If I want to get up from my desk and I'm too lazy to remove the headset from my head, there's a simply connection near the left ear that I can unplug.

As for comfort, this is where it shines. I would compare wearing this headset to having my head in-between two boobs. It's THAT comfy.

It was definitely worth the 3 month wait.

Friday, April 25, 2008

The talk of the week has been the "inspirational" posters. Find them here.

And make sure you look at the next to last poster while listening to this:

Friday, April 18, 2008

So "The Forbidden Kingdom" is out. I mention this movie as if it has some significance, because it actually does. It's a martial arts movie, and the leads are Jackie Chan *and* Jet Li. I'm actually quite amazed it took this long for someone to make a movie with BOTH of those superstars in it, but it's finally happened.

And from what I can tell, the movie is getting decent reviews. That's a bonus.

In other news, I was at lunch yesterday with my co-workers. We're enjoying our meal, talking it up, and all of a sudden I hear the theme to Halloween. I look around, half-expecting Michael Myers to show up and stab me in the face, and see some woman answer her cell phone.

Who the fuck uses the MICHAEL MYERS THEME SONG as their ring tone?!

Monday, April 14, 2008

There's no other comic strip out there that I can relate to on such a level more so than Zits. The strips core plot device is "parents dealing with a teenage boy". So many of the strips I've read have happened to me in real life, and I'm still at an age where I remember my teenage years. Some of the situations STILL happen to be even today, and I'm not quite sure what to make of that. Moving on...

Sunday's strip was one of those cases where I read it, and thought to myself, "My God, that was me. That's EXACTLY what I was like." Here it is:

And yes. This is one of those cases where I *still* find myself in these types of situations.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

I remember this past Sunday morning, my Mom was reading the newspaper at breakfast. She started telling me about this car that was stolen, and the owner had left the keys in the ignition. The car was a Jaguar.

I wasn't paying much attention as she was telling me this, and I just said, "Well, that was a dumb thing to do." or something like that. I didn't think about it again since.

All this week at work, people in the office have been commenting about a car sitting in our parking lot. Finally, someone called the police today and reported it as abandoned.

We were outside on break when the cops arrived to investigate, and I saw the car was a Jaguar. And I vaguely remembered the article my Mom had read to me 4 days ago. I ran back up to my desk and did a local news search on "stolen jaguar" and found the article. A 2000 Jaguar, left unlocked with the keys in the ignition, was stolen from a lot about 5 miles from my office. I did a google image search on 2000 Jaguar. And the images I got looked exactly like the car sitting outside.

So I'm fairly certain that was the stolen Jaguar in my parking lot.

Friday, April 04, 2008

"This, my friend, is a pint."
"It comes in pints?"

You will know, if you are any bit as nerdy as I am, that this is a line from the first LOTR movie. It's a conversation between Merry and Pippen in Bree.

This line is in my head this morning due to a certain humorous situation at Sheetz this morning:

I stopped there for a bottle of Vault, as I do on random mornings when I feel I need some help waking up. Vault, if you are not aware, is an energy soda. Basically it revs you up AND it's bad for you. Win!

I grab the first 20 OZ bottle I see, and I notice it's Vault Zero. Please. If I'm going to drink something bad for me, I'm certainly not going to drink the DIET version. Sadly, all 4 rows that are typically regular Vault were filled with Vault Zero. A tinge of panic...

But then, sitting in an angelic light, I saw a new row in the rack above. The dark color of the bottle told me it wasn't any shitty Vault Zero. But something was different...the bottle was BIGGER. It was a LITER!

"It comes in liters? I'm getting one!"

I actually said it out loud, and the dude getting a pepsi beside me was very, very confused. I stood behind him in line afterwards, and he kept looking behind him often. Every time time he did I would smile broadly and open my eyes really wide.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

I turn 27 in 4 days.

I think this is around the age where people start having their panic attacks about turning 30, and stuff like that. Age has never been something that has concerned me very much. Sure, I know I'm getting older. I probably weigh a bit more now than I did when I was in high school. I find myself having to do more and more adult related activities. (Not THOSE kind of "adult activities"! Fucking perverts.)

But, big deal I say. I'll be 27 on Monday. Happy Birthday to me.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

The Ever Growing Collection of Sauce

I have a lunch group -- an established roster of individuals at work whom I eat lunch with just about everyday. We order Chinese food approximately once a week. For any of you who regularly eat at Chinese restaurants, you're familiar with the plethora of sauce packets you receive with every meal -- duck sauce, soy sauce, hot sauce, etc.

Not many of us in the lunch group -- hereafter referred to as the GCP, which I'll leave to your own imagination to figure out -- utilize these sauces, so we're always left with a handful of unused packets after every lunch of Chinese food. I've been saving these in a large brown paper bag, and it's got to the point now where the bag is about two-thirds of the way full.

That's a lot of sauces.

I've been contemplating what I should do with all of these. I was thinking, if I end up working here for another 15 years or so, that I will just keep saving sauces until I have enough to actually fill up someone's cubicle with them. (Duct tape the opening of their cube shut and pour all the packets inside. You've probably seen that done with the styrofoam packing pellets.)

Or, I could just wait until I fill up this paper bag completely, and give it back to the delivery boy the next time we order food. I can just see the confused look on his face now.


Holy smokes.  The last post I wrote for this blog was on October 18, 2017.  Through the little more than  two years since, this blog has be...