Showing posts from October, 2011

Happy Halloween!

I'm sitting here trying to remember the times when I've been the most scared, and it's difficult to put this into the context of Halloween because real life is scary in a much different way than the whole concept of "Halloween Scary".  In real life, things like mortality, losing a loved one, job security, and stuff like that are all scary things.  They're also not fun to think or talk about, and thus not really conducive to a holiday that, while being about scary things, is also supposed to be fun.  So, I'll keep this light-hearted, in the spirit of the holiday.

I remember when I was a kid, around preteen or some such an age, I would have this thing I would do if I would arrive home at night.  Without going too far off-topic, this would happen quite often due to any number of activities I would do, especially during the summer.  Things like horseshoe leagues/tournaments, or going out after dark to help my Dad water tees and greens at the golf course where…

The Heist

First, allow me to set the scene for you.  My team is located in the center part of the second floor of the office, occupying six of the cubicles here.  Our seventh team member is sitting a little over on the other side a ways, near the Custom's department.  Bernie and her team are over to the left from us near the windows and in front of the break room.  Got the logistics?  Good.  
Now, since it's Halloween soon, Bernie's team have hung up a plastic Halloween themed sign on one of their walls.  It has a button on it.  When you press the button, you get this incredibly annoying sequence of sound effects:  First, a ghostly "Ooooooooo!", followed by a monstrous growl, and finally a high pitched horror movie scream.

Yesterday, after Danielle, Jeff, and I tired of hearing it, I got out my toolkit and we sneakily removed the batteries.  They didn't notice it until this morning, so I told them where the batteries were (because I, like some men, simply like to watch …

Inception Bullets

I gave those "Inception Bullets" a try in Rage last night -- those are the bullets where the tooltip says, "Bullets within bullets within bullets that all fire at once".  Basically, you load up your pistol and it fires all 6 bullets simultaneously.

It's actually not quite as useful as I thought it would be.  Basically, it turns your pistol into a shotgun, so it's good for close range.  It doesn't quite have as much spread as a shotgun, but it still has some and that sort of means I won't use them.  I like aiming for the headshots.  Also, since you're basically shooting 6 shots at once, you have to reload after every shot.  That's just...annoying actually.

So I'll be sticking with the Fatboy bullets!


Late last night, John and I decided to watch Jurassic Park together.  It's funny, because I got that movie on DVD right when it first came out (so like, what, 16 years ago?), so it's actually the full screen version, because widescreen wasn't mainstream yet.  I found that amusing (and weird!).  Anyway, I started the movie and turned on screenshare via Skype -- John was watching it in bed and I was just sitting at my computer (having cereal).

I think John lasted about three quarters of the way through it, or something like that, before he fell asleep.  It was close to midnight-my-time when the movie ended, and I decided to just go to bed.  I left Skype on.

Now, it's common knowledge that John talks in his sleep.  Around 2:30 AM, I get woken up by him saying "NINJAS" really loud into the mic.  Yes, "NINJAS!".  I leaped out of bed, still half-asleep and probably half-dreaming, looking around for my sword so that I could fight the ninjas.  It was fricki…

Wot I Hear

I don't often post about music for two reasons.

1. It's the common interest most susceptible to hipsterism.
2. You don't care what I'm listening to.

Even so, I decided to share a few songs that have been playing in my ear regularly the last couple of weeks.

Wolf Gang - The King and All of His Men

Kasabian - Days Are Forgotten

Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds - If I Had a Gun



It's been a while since I've had any at the office, so I was about due.  This is actually quite an amusing story.  I love telling it.

Yesterday afternoon, a lady by the name of Sue came over to my desk.  She's another manager in the office for our Customs department.  I don't know her all that well, but she attends the bi-weekly manager's meeting and we do know each other.  She brought me this weird looking item -- it was (unbeknownst to me at the time) the padding for a bra or something of that nature.  A boob pad.  Whatever.  I thought it was a shoulder pad for a lady's blouse.

I took it over to Melissa's office, who is our HR person.  She laughed when she saw it, saying that she didn't know what it was but that it was just lying on the floor.  I told her what I thought it was, and she said that to her it looked like a skullcap, sort of like the kind of thing the Pope wears.  So naturally, the next logical thing for me to do was to put it on my …

Ow My Finger

Playing Rage, and I was inside the tavern.  I noticed a guy sitting at a table doing the thing with the knife where you stab the table between your fingers as fast as you can.  Turns out, it's a mini-game!  I made a video of it.

Ooh, Scary!

I like making Halloween themed posts, and I've been thinking about what I'd like to do this year.  I've done games before, I've done Friday the 13th kills before.  I don't think I've actually done movies as a whole, though.  So this year I'm going to do something different.  A few years ago, Bravo compiled a list of the top 100 scariest movie moments.  I'm going to take their top 10 and comment on them myself.  Mainly, I'm going to express the reasons why I feel the movie is on the list.  So without further adieu, let's get to it, starting from the bottom:

10. Wait Until Dark

Wait, what?  I've never heard of this movie.  Well, this is embarrassing, isn't it?  *Goes to Wikipedia*

Okay, so it's a thriller from the 1960's...oh hey, it's directed by Terence Young!  He did some of the earliest Bond movies.  It seems that it made the list due to the ending of the movie, which is apparently quite harrowing.  Seems the heroine is blind,…

Yup, They Work

Today is National Drive Like As Asshat Day (#124).  The first incident was simply my confusion at some schmuck in an SUV who apparently thought the passing lane was her own personal driveway.  She confused me, because right when I first ended up behind her, she undertook a car that was going even slower than her.  This car then moved into the normal lane after this, which allowed me to pass it properly, and still leaving me behind this SUV.  A little while later, that same SUV was passed from the slow lane by another car (who had to be going about 100 MPH I think).  It just made me wonder about the thought process of her.  She was a living contradiction.

That wasn't the most exciting part of my morning drive, however.  Right before the exit off the parkway that I take to the office, suddenly everyone slammed on their brakes.  I'm not talking about a little slow-down either -- cars were actually going sideways in order to stop without hitting the cars in front of them.  I saw wh…

Jobs and Sniping and Driving, Oh My!

I'm sitting here listening to "Anyone's Ghost" by The National as I write this.  I have a new love for this song because I heard it at the beginning of Grey's Anatomy last Thursday.  Hearing songs I love in strange places tends to give me a new appreciation of them.  
As for the topic at hand, I reached a few interesting milestones in Rage this evening.  The first of these was getting a bit of exposure to the secondary quests, which I retrieved from a job board in the middle of Wellspring.  Aside from the "sniping game" quest, where I simply had to sit in one place and snipe bad guys, the rest of the quests sent me into places I've already been to.  I didn't mind that -- the environments are so detailed and well done, having a second look at them was actually quite enjoyable.

I also explored a few new places, with nothing terribly exciting to report there in regards to the environments.  It was a lot of dank sewers, dark buildings, and creepy pat…

Well Gang, It Looks Like We Have Another Mystery On Our Hands!


Last night was poker night.  I carried Buyo upstairs and put him into the spare bedroom, and I went into the living room for a bit on my laptop to finish off my evening with John.  After he'd gone to bed, I went into the bedroom to check on Buyo.  As I did, I noticed a bunch of glass on the floor.  Naturally, my first thought was that he'd knocked something off a shelf or bookcase.  I looked a bit closer, and realized there really wasn't anything breakable in that particular vicinity...but realized the glass was directly underneath the window.  Oh balls.

I opened the curtain to find a baseball shaped hole in the window, very near the  top of the pane of glass.  My first thought was a bullet.  I looked at the opposing wall and found nothing, though.  Well, -something- had to make the hole, so I started looking around on the floor.  I found a chunk of wood about the size of a golfball, and one side of it looked as though it had been chopped with a machete...or the bl…


Never underestimate the power of stupid people on the internet.  Give them an idea (a usually false or misconstrued one at that) and they will dig their claws into it and never let it go so long as they draw breath.  It happens every single day across any media, for any topic, in any corner of the world.  For me, I see this kind of thing on the topic of gaming more often than anywhere else, since I read a lot of gaming articles.  It sometimes makes me fall into the same trap -- I tend to start thinking that the gaming community is filled with a bunch of idiots.  
But then I remember the truth.  The entire PLANET is filled with a bunch of idiots.

In any case, I present you with my most recent example of human stupidity:

I was perusing the PC Gamer forums this morning, and there were two articles regarding Mass Effect 3.  The first one was explaining how ME3 will have over 40,000 lines of dialogue, which is nearly as much as ME1 and ME2 combined.  That's pretty damned cool, and it show…


I hate IRLRNG.  That's the "in real life random number generator".  It's the term I've coined to describe the reason for things going to shit.  It just seemed like today was a hugely bad sequence of IRLRNG.  I went into the office early to be on a customer call at 7:00 AM.  (I got in around 6:30-ish.)  As a result, I skipped breakfast until after the call was over, and was therefore starving.  I knew that Jeff had told us yesterday that he was bringing in rice crispy treats, so I waited around until about 9:15 AM since I figured I'd just have one of those for breakfast.  I couldn't wait any longer, so I went out and got something to eat.  Jeff pulled into the parking lot as I got back.  That figures.

That was only the start of things, naturally.  The main annoyance occurred near the end of the day.  Since I'd gotten in early, obviously I could leave early.  I planned on leaving for the day at 3:15 PM.  So of course, I had to attend a meeting at 3:00 P…

A Non-Rage Post

It was bound to happen eventually...

It's funny story time.

Several years ago, before my company was acquired by Descartes, our phone system was supplied by a company called Siemens.  Remember that.  It's important.

We had our bi-weekly manager's meeting today, which are rather entertaining.  It pretty much gives us the opportunity to bitch and complain about our employees and our bosses without worrying about offending anyone, because all us managers know each other and are friends.  The topics tend to spiral well out of control, as was the case today.

We're migrating to a new e-mail server.  As such, our IT department is slowly migrating each individual employee from the old domain to the new one.  It's no big deal -- mine was migrated last week without any problems.  Well, apparently, today someone nearly lost all of the data on their computer when the migration was done to their system.  This, naturally, cause a rant by our boss Ed, who couldn't understand (r…

Bash TV

I was going  to do some of the car races in Rage this evening, but I was in the mood to shoot stuff.  Lucky for me, there's a quest for that!  (See what I did there?)  
There's this weird TV game show host out in the Wasteland who runs this channel called "Bash TV".  I had to go to him in order to get him to sponsor me for a car race -- it was the only way to progress further on that particular quest line.  In return for the sponsorship, I had to appear on his television show.  And apparently he would pay me to do so.


The object of the game show was to survive as they throw waves and waves of mutants at me.


I pretty much explain everything else in the video.  Feel free to watch and have a chuckle at my inability to be good at games.  Obviously I recommend clicking it to open it up in a new window.  It is in HD, and will probably look great fullscreened.

Stop messing with me, id!

This will pretty much summarize my time with Rage this evening.  You can imagine that this is my internal dialogue as I'm playing:
"I'm really surprised that id have moved away from their typical content of demons and intense gore of their other games.  I suppose they've decided it was time to grow up a bit, or maybe they're...WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING AND WHY DOESN'T IT HAVE A FACE?!"

Yeah.  I suppose you could say that, as the term goes, shit got real.  I can tell when a game has me on edge, because I start gripping the mouse really hard and I'm leaned forward in my chair.  I start tilting my head at my monitor when I turn corners, as if that will actually help me peek around to see if anything is there.  And, of course, I start dodging the projectiles in real life.

Also, the game is messing with me.  The bastards are being really clever.  There was this one ammo cache room that I found -- had to grind the lock to get to it.  It had a bunch of ammo …

Driving and Gambling

Blowing up a bandit's car in Rage is surprisingly satisfying!  It's like a mini-nuclear explosion, only without the huge loss of life and consequential fallout.  Win/win, I say!  It's all tied together quite nicely with the rest of the game, too, in that you don't feel like the driving sequences were just tacked onto the game.  There are quests linked to taking out bandits in-between settlements, the garage links to the settlement attached to it and the wasteland, and you can get upgrades for your vehicles by winning races on tracks within the settlements.  And, of course, you have to drive through the wasteland to get from place to place.  It all flows quite nicely.  
In addition to some new screenshots, I made a short video to show the in-game  gambling system that you can use to make some extra cash.  This is the fourth way I've found to make money, with the other three being winning races, selling junk, and completing quests.  There's a whole lot more to thi…


I hate people.  I especially hate ignorant people.   
Today, I was sitting at my desk working, minding my own business.  The Wookie comes waddling over.  I always try ignoring it, but it tends to linger until I acknowledge its existence.  I won't extend this particular part of the post any longer than I have to, so I'll just say that it knows I'm a gamer and asked  me about Rage.  It then proceeded to complain about the graphics, stating that they look six years old.  

Urge.  To.  Murder.  Near.  Critical.  Mass.  

I can only surmise it's playing Rage on a console.  HEY I THINK I FOUND YOUR PROBLEM.  GET A PROPER GAMING MACHINE YOU TWIT.  

Moving on.  *Deep breaths.*

The shot above is from one of the lairs of the bandits.  As I said the other day, there's not really much of a story right now.  You have the good survivors (the people giving you quests), and you have the bad survivors (bandits and muties).  You kill the bad survivors and you help the good survivors.  That…

First Impressions: Rage

I've come to the conclusion that id Software exists solely to make games for me to play.  Forget for a moment that I grew up playing their games.  (I still remember begging my Mom to give me the original Doom discs before Christmas so I could play the game every single day of my Christmas vacation.)  It's just that they make a shooter that contains all the stuff that I expect to find, and none of the utter crap that makes me want to punch baby unicorns.  
It's a simple recipe:  Cool weapons to shoot, bad guys to kill, and gorgeous visuals to look at.  Quick saves (not checkpoints), and no limit on the amount of weapons you can carry.  These are all the things I demand to be in my shooter. I get annoyed when I have to, for example, redo an entire level because I died two feet from the next "checkpoint".  I get annoyed when I have to drop one weapon (with tons of ammo for it) so that I can pick up a new one.  id has never let me down when it comes to these very simp…
Today, I tried my best.