I can paint, too...

So I get this email today from someone I don't know, working for someone I've never heard of, for this website that I never knew existed.

Apparently, they are planning on making their own web-based DBZ series, and would like me to be an artist on the show. Because they liked the artwork I drew on my site.


They fail.

Mmm, vacation...

Today was a weird day. It started at breakfast, when I see this very, very weird looking moth in the parking lot of the restaurant. Check this out:

Now, I didn't put anything beside it for scale because I didn't want to risk it flying away while I took its picture with my phone. However, it was probably SIX INCHES long. (15 CM for you metric people). Fook!

Next, on the way home this morning, there's this big bird (probably a buzzard) munching on a dead animal in the road. It flies off as our car approached, but for a second looked like it was going to go right through the windshield. I'm still having some trouble hearing out of my left ear after my mother screamed into it.

Then, on my way home this afternoon, a tree nearly fell on me! I was driving home, and I look over to my left and see this tree coming at me. It missed me completely, but as I looked in my rearview mirror I could see a huge cloud of dust in the road. Yikes.

Cool stuff

So I got all these neat little php scripts today - here's one of them.......a MUSIC PLAYER. Coooool.

Death by Ball!

BOOM! BALL SHOT!

GUN JUGGLING!

Humorous Video

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"Mine are big enough, thank you."

Prey No More

Similar to the aliens in Independence Day, an entire civilization of extra-terrestrials came to earth in a giant sphere-shaped spaceship, which then orbited the planet as the inhabitants abducted millions of people and began to eat them. Those that weren't eaten were turned into cyborg-like fighting machines, sent to make my life miserable as I tried to fight my way to the leader. This game is host to one of the most horrifying experiences I've ever had the pleasure of experiencing in a computer game. From the moment the aliens attack, I had one objective in the game: Fight my way to my girlfriend, Jen. 87% of the way through the game, I finally find her, only she's now half monster. The monster half is hell bent on ripping me apart, while the human part is crying hysterically and telling me to run. I kill the monster part, but the girlfriend part is still alive, albeit barely. I then had to put a bullet in her head. This game's got SUBSTANCE.

After that, you can imagine my character wasn't a happy camper. It was then on to find the boss lady, the leader of it all. After fighting my way through an arena, where I had to battle every single monster I had encountered before one by one from weakest to most powerful (nice touch), I then had to fight about 20 of these huge "keeper" creatures. They fragged nice. Then, I was face to face with HER.


She was happy to see me.

No, really, she was, cause her plot was to have me take her place as leader of these aliens. Instead, I spread her innards all over the arena. Then, in a rather cool ending, I flew their huge sphere of a spaceship right into the sun. Boom.

I feel dizzy...

Walking into a room and then falling onto the ceiling is bad enough. But then, I find myself in this huge cube, and the only way out is to keep pressing buttons on the wall to spin the cube in all kinds of different directions until I fill up this little line thingy with this glowing blue orb thingy. I thought I was gonna puke...

....and why the hell is the room spinning??

Over-frapping...

I forgot to tell this story in the last post:

As I was playing Prey last night, I was happily snapping screenshots at all the cool stuff I was seeing. Nothing out of the ordinary there. So, after I was finished for the night, I went to the directory on my hard drive where fraps stores the screenshots. I looked. And then I looked again, not quite sure I was seeing what I was seeing.

Number of screenshots: 1,130

Then I remembered that the last time I used fraps, I had set the "Repeat taking screenshots every 1 second" setting. Ooops. So then I had to sift through them all to find the cool shots. It was kinda neat though, because if I wouldn't have loaded all the images into a flash animation, it would have been a nice movie of me playing the game.

I prey it will rock...

What do you mean I have a cavity?!

Prey is out, and I couldn't be more excited. Especially since I just played about an hour of it. Such gaming goodness to be had.

The game's premise isn't anything overly original, but I must say I don't think there's anything quite like it. You play a Cherokee indian living on a reservation. You're not really happy about it. Then, aliens arrive and start abducting everyone, including your grandfather and your girlfriend. You find yourself aboard the alien vessel, watching a lot of people, including your grandfather, getting skewered and killed in any number of gross yet can't-turn-your-head-away-because-of-morbid-curiosity ways. Then, you fall. The fall should have killed you, but instead you end up in this strange place where you meet your grandfather and he tells you it's time to remember your heritage. Apparently, you have the power to leave your body and walk around as a spirit, and this particular technique comes in quite handy when you are faced with a door you can't open by normal means. Also, when you're walking around as a spirit, you get to use a cool bow.

The coolest part of this game up to this point is the gravity, by far. There are certain areas on the alien spaceship where the gravity is just fucked up, and you can run up walls, walk on the ceilings, etc. It's infinitely enjoyable to shoot a bad guy who is walking on the ceiling, and watch the sorry son of a bitch plummet to the ground afterwards. The monsters are pretty neat looking.

Oh, I just shot you in the face with a plasma gun. My bad!

Right Time, Wrong Place

I'm generally not a person who is overly confrontational, nor goes looking for trouble. Really. Stop laughing!

Anyway....fun with traffic time:

My driving attitude was already at an all time low when I started the trek home this evening because of the bullshit that I had to go through this morning. A 40 minute drive to work took 2 hours, because of 4 magical traffic slowing entities all occuring at once: construction, mid-week, precipitation, and a disabled vehicle.

So I was already a bit miffed when I started for home.

Asshole #1 was some stupid fucker near the airport that decided the passing lane was his own personal space. I educated him otherwise.

Asshole #2 was some dumb bitch who though her shitty Prism was superior to my Malibu. I educated her otherwise.

Asshole #3 is my favorite, and I only wish I was in the position to fuck with him at the time. Sadly, I was just one car back from the incident and could do nothing. As you've heard me bitch about many times, there is a construction zone that I have to drive through every fucking day. Two lanes going into one. The general motorist doesn't know how to merge properly. Even the department of transportation knows this, because there's a big sign that says, "USE BOTH LANES TO MERGE POINT". Even so, you still have the right lane backed up all to hell (it's the lane that is open), and the left lane has almost no one in it. So, naturally, I'm one of the few that actually follows instructions, and I use the left lane all the way up to the merge point. This probably shaves 20 minutes off my drive, because I guess everyone else is too chicken shit to do it. Today, there was this car in the right hand lane. I was behind an SUV, we were in the left hand lane making out way up to the front of the line. About 50 feet before the merge point, this black car starts driving in the middle of the two lanes, so no one in the left lane would go around him.

I would have paid MONEY for that SUV to NOT be in front of me. You cannot possibly imagine how badly I wanted to humiliate this person. I seriously considered going around the SUV (who was chickening out and wouldn't go around the car), and just jackknifing right in front of that cocky little fucker. It would have made my week.

*sigh* Alas, it was not to be.

My Patience < Human Stupidity

I typically go to the supermarket on Friday after work to get the things I need for the following week. Sadly, I was at work until 1:00 AM this past Friday, and was in no condition on doing much of anything afterwards, let alone grocery shopping. Even sadder, I had to work Saturday as well, and therefore was able to do said shopping on my way home that day.

Among the items I purchased was a half pound of lunch meat, to be used for the random hunger attack during the weekend and also the two sandwiches for my lunch on Monday and Tuesday. The woman at the deli who waited on me was a very unpleasant individual who I have had the displeasure of becoming aquainted with at my church. She has the personality of a mountain troll, and I'm quite convinced that her monster of a child cannot possibly be human.

Unfortunately, the deli item was no longer in my possession when I got home, for reasons I have not yet been able to explain. So, it was necessary for me to visit the supermarket again this morning. As I approached the deli counter, I was horrified to see the same woman there, this time not behind the counter but grocery shopping herself and getting some items from the deli. If this were any other person in the world seeing me in the same supermarket at the same deli ordering the exact same item less than 24 hours apart, I wouldn't have cared. But this woman disgusts me in ways I have never been disgusted. I avoided the deli for the time being by going and picking up some cat litter, which I thankfully remembered I needed. And Medusa was gone when I returned.

As if my day wasn't going badly enough already, I was number 14 in line at the deli, which was currently serving number 9. And it took the slow mother fuckers 20 minutes to serve 5 people.

I'm never shopping there again.

Uncorporate America 004

Smell you later.

Some people really, really hate their jobs

Take the guy I overheard at Sheetz one morning this week. I was at the one fridge case getting my daily dose of chocolate milk, and he was talking to one of his buddies about his job.

"Yeah, should be interesting today. They've got us changing light bulbs."


LOL! Sad....