I am a GOD among troubleshooters.

I'm feeling pretty good about myself right at this point in time, for I've just experienced quite a glorious moment. As you may or may not know, I've been having problems with a PC game by the name of Fable: The Lost Chapters. i couldn't even get past the opening logos on the game before it would crash completely. I would double click the icon for the game, get a black screen, then BAM. Crash and burn.

I went to the support site for the game -- which was made by Microsoft. There were a list of 15 possible reasons why my game might be crashing like this. I tried all 15 solutions and none of them worked.

Ever try to send microsoft an email for techinical support? It's quite a laughable experience, let me tell you. I needed the product ID to even get to the page where I could start sending them a message. To get the product ID, I have to open the program. I CAN'T FUCKING OPEN THE PROGRAM, THAT'S WHY I NEED TO EMAIL YOU FUCKERS! Bill Gates can lick my pubes.

So, I *kind of* isolated the problem to being my VIA Bus Master IDE Controller. I wasn't totally sure that was what the problem was, but it was the only option left. I went to VIA's website to download the latest drivers for this hardware device. Guess what? Yep -- I couldn't load the driver page. VIA can also lick my pubes.

I visited lots of forums, searching for some geek that might have had the same problem as me, and had already figured out a solution. Nothing. All I could find was that the IDE controller had issues with Windows XP SP 2 (what I have). All the geeks in this world can also lick my pubes.

I was at my wit's end, ready to give up and just throw the game away. Or try to return it. But lo, I had a terrible idea. A wonderful terrible idea. I went to the executible file for the game, right clicked on it, went to the Compatibility tab, and clicked on Windows 2000 Capatiblity.

And the game runeth.



I am NOT a geek. I am the deity that overshadows all the geeks in the world as they lick the dirt off my sandals.