Thursday, May 26, 2011

O - pin - ion

Before I start, I should mention that this post is actually written tongue-in-cheek.  It's so hard to make that apparent through text, so please try to imagine me writing this with a big toothy grin on my face while sipping on a cup of tea.  I'm exaggerating a lot, definitely being over-dramatic, and basically just having fun with this.  That said, enjoy!



If there is one incredibly bad thing the Internet has helped create, it's a complete and utter misunderstanding of what an opinion really is.  It's not all the Internet's fault, mind you.  I honestly place most of the blame on bad parenting, but that's a completely different topic.

So lest we forget, here is the definition of opinion:




o·pin·ion

  
[uh-pin-yuhn]
–noun
1.
a belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty.
2.
a personal view, attitude, or appraisal.
3.
the formal expression of a professional judgment: to ask for second Medical opinion.
4.
Law the formal statement by a judge or court of the reasoning and the principles of law used in reaching adecision of a case.
5.
a judgment or estimate of a person or thing with respect tocharacter, merit, etc.: to forfeit someone's good opinion.
6.
a favorable estimate; esteem: I haven't much of an opinion of him.

The simple misunderstanding or ignorance to the meaning of this word is probably the largest reason why I'm a misanthropic bastard who hates the human race.

"This game sucks."

No.  No, no, no, no, no.  You *think* the game sucks, ya snot-nosed little cunt.

"The rapture will be this Saturday."

In honor of Yahtzee:  In short, no.  In long, nooooooooooooooooooo.  I'm quite glad that preacher is older than dirt.  It means he'll have his own personal little rapture soon and I can stop hearing about his bullshit.

The part of the definition that people seem to just utterly disregard is "grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty".

That part is so important I'm going to repeat it.  In all caps.  And larger font.  And bright red text.  



GROUNDS INSUFFICIENT TO PRODUCE COMPLETE CERTAINTY.

The bottom line is, if you're not writing an editorial or opinion column, you don't get to make bold statements.  This brings me to the SECOND reason why I despise human beings:  Most of them are cocky, self-entitled little bitches.  The most common example of this is when a game developer makes any kind of announcement and allows comments on said article:

"You need to add X to Y."

I wish I was a game developer, just so I could take pleasure in saying, "Fuck you, you little self-entitled cunt.  Go make your own game so you can add X to Y.  Until then, you can shove X up your fat haughty ass."

And my own personal favorite is when someone actually gets angry at you when you don't agree with them.  I *love* these people!  If they were a raccoon, I would definitely speed up when they ran out in front of me on the road.  (I slow down for real raccoons.  My life would be a Disney movie if I had that option.)

It's always a joy when you see this happening:

Self-Entitled Cunt (or Professional Troll):  "THIS SUCKS."
Reasonable Top Hat Wearing Gentleman:  "Well, I think it has certain features that are quite enjoyable, such as X, Y, and Z, because they add a certain depth and scope to the game."

Self-entitled Cunt (or Professional Troll):  "HAHA U NOOB U SUCK GO FUCK YOUR MOM THIS GAME SUCKS !!!!!11!!!!1  I KNOW CAUSE I KNOW EVERYTHING I'M ON THE INTERNETZORZ."

And this, kids, is why I ignore most people.  


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