Apiphobia

I have borderline apiphobia, which is a fear of bees.  I say “borderline” because I don't actually have an irrational fear of them.  I just hate the mean little fuckers. 

This exceptional hatred comes from past experiences, and I'm pretty sure they're all out of get me.  Let's summarize my traumatic experiences with bees over the course of my life:

• While I was swimming one day, a bee hid in my towel.  Worst after-pool surprise ever.
  
• One early morning while I was still sleeping, a bee crawled into bed with me.  What…the…FUCK. 
  
• One day I walked into a barn and a bumblebee attached itself to my back, stinging me over and over again until I reached back, grabbed it off of me, and threw it.

These are only the most traumatic examples.  I've been stung many other times, and I think it's quite obvious that they're all out to get me.  And I now have another one to add to this list.

Fifteen minutes ago, I took a shower.  I got out of the shower.  I stepped out onto the bath mat.  AND STEPPED ON A FUCKING WASP WHO STUNG ME ON MY FOOT. 

Fucking bugs.  ._.

 

Now playing: The National - Exile Vilify