I don't understand people. I will admit that I'm sort of at a disadvantage, though. You see, I was raised by wolves and didn't have any contact with human beings until I was about 19 years old. Ok, that's a lie. But I'm using it as a metaphor to explain that I didn't really make any real attempts to understand people until that age. Before then, I really didn't care about people, and was under the impression that they didn't really care about me either. Since then I've learned a lot, but I still don't understand people. Why is that?

I sometimes wish that life was more like a TV show. But, not for any of the reasons that you might think. When you watch a TV show, you know what the characters are thinking because the show will tell you. They may tell you by having the characters think out loud, or through the actions the characters perform, or by subtle pauses/glances/expressions they make. They do this because it's a TV show and the audience needs to know why the character is doing what they are doing. They need to understand the character in order to enjoy the show. Ah, a light bulb went off just now, didn't it?

Life is not like a TV show. People don't always say exactly what they mean. They don't always explain their motives. They don't always make it known exactly how they feel. And, sadly, a lot of the time they aren't as caring and considerate. And it really makes things complicated, don't you think?

Here's a good example. I was driving to work this morning. As of Monday, there's a small stretch of highway on my route that is down to one lane for construction. It's not a long stretch. You're through it quite quickly with a minimal delay in your commute. I bitch about road work all the time, but at the same time I realize that even though it's a hassle, it's also necessary and there's really nothing I can do about it anyway. So this morning, I approach the construction zone, and I know that the right lane is closed because I've been through here two times before already since Monday. So I get in the left lane. Traffic is backed up before the point where the right lane closes by about 10 cars. Big deal, we're still moving. I'm never in any hurry to get to work, so I didn't care to use the right lane all the way up to the merge point.

I look at the car in front of me, and I watch as he edges to the right. In front of him a truck, so I assumed he was going to just go around and merge back in up where the right lane started to close. Instead, he just sat there, in between this truck and me (who were in the left lane), but he was mostly in the right lane. He was trying to block anyone who might try to use the right lane all the way up to the merge point. And when someone did use the right lane up to the merge point and went around him, he jerked his steering wheel to give the impression that he was going to swerve into that other vehicle as it went around him.

Why? Does it anger him so much that those people are gaining 10 car lengths on him that he risks causing an accident? Does he not understand that you are allowed to use the right lane up until the merge point? Does he just enjoy fucking with people?

I also asked myself this question: Would he still have acted in this way if each person that was going around him was a close friend or family member, or even anyone that he knows personally? Or was he just acting this way because his car was granting him anonymity?

This brings me to my next point. I think the main reason that I feel I don't understand people very well is because of what makes up a majority of my interaction with them. Aside from the family I live with, my interaction with people is basically broken down into only two things: Interaction with complete strangers that I meet through various means such as shopping, driving to work, going to eat, and...other means, and interaction over the Internet.

It's clear that people act differently when they have anonymity on their side, and that's never more true than over the Internet. Have you ever scanned through a "Comments" section on a news article? It's quite a sight. It's amazing what people will say when they are only a mouse and keyboard to everyone else.

This makes it extremely difficult to know someone, when your only interaction with them is online. You can't see their facial expressions when they talk to you. You can't hear their tone. How do you know what they mean when they talk to you? Are they being serious? Are they joking? Are they fucking with you? Are they trying to get to know you better? It can be very frustrating.

The guy who said "All the world's a stage..." is full of crap. Either that, or someone stole my script.