Am I a magnet for lower life forms??

Everywhere I go, I see stupid people. Is it me? Do I attract them? Do they flock to me like Robert Downey Jr. to a crack dealer? Or, is it just that a vast majority of the human populous is stupid?

Whatever the answer, here's the latest story:

I had to stop at Giant Eagle yesterday to get a case of Nestea. I should have expected some kind of stupid person attack, since the supermarket is just about the best place to find stupid people. I go to the back, find my case of Nestea, and then found a checkout lane with a small line -- only 1 person in front of me, and they were already getting their items bagged up.

As the chickie behind the counter scans the Nestea, and slides it down to the end of the counter, the bag boy says to her, "I smell funk." and then proceeds to stick his head into his shirt and sniff himself.

WHAT............THE....................FUCK!

Needless to say, I didn't really want him touching my Nestea. After the chickie slid it down to him, I attempted to intercept it, but he got to it first. Now -- it's a 12 pack of Nestea. You don't bag those. The LOGICAL thing for him to do would be for him to hand it to me. What does he do? He shoves it underneath the little pad thingy where you can lay your checkbook or whatever down to write on. So, to get my Nestea, I had to reach UNDERNEATH the thing and pull it out, while leaning over the damned counter so I could reach. I wanted to throw the fucking case at him after that, but that would have been a waste of perfectly good raspberry goodness.

Latest Addiction? Maybe...

I was talking to a guy at work today who said he would like to try Civilization IV -- the new Sid Meier game that came out recently. I had read about it, saw all the good reviews etc, and figured I'd like to try it too, so I looked for it. (Initially just to burn it for this guy.)

After I downloaded it, I installed it so I could test it to make sure it worked. After the intro movie had my jaw hanging down around my pasty white ankles, I knew that there was going to be a problem....

The intro started out in outerspace and then proceeded to zoom down to earth to show a MASSIVE army in what looked like ancient Roman era, followed by a whole SHITLOAD of battle ships on a sea (think Troy). It then zoomed through the lands to what looked like an Egyptian capital, where a new king was being crowned.

I need to play this.......

Server config files? OWNED.

I love how much of a LACK of information there is regarding config files in games. It's like the developer's are saying, "Well, if you don't know how to make a config file, you're fucked, we're not helping you."

Fine. If that's the way you want to play, bitches, so be it.

I got a list of all the commands in Counter-Strike source and picked the ones that I need. Then, I put these all into my own config file, and found out where to put the file on my own. (I actually had to make a new directory that didn't exist -- don't ask me how I knew what to name it.)

Yeah, so there's my big FUCK YOU to Valve. (Once again.)

Remind me again why I thought this was a good idea...

So my parents got one of their Christmas presents from me early this year -- new cell phones. I'll be regretting this until the next time I get them new cell phones. It's not so much of a problem with my Dad, he can pretty much figure everything out on his own and he's good to go. With the MOTHER, however, it's a bloody ho-ho nightmare.

Tonight she tried to text message me, and I get one BLANK text message, and 2 duplicates. Then, she wanted to find a good ring tone -- and she's like "I want a Christmas ringtone." Of course, to her dismay, her phone doesn't HAVE any Christmas ringtones. And the price to download ones from the site are ridiculous. She finally did find one she liked on her phone, though.

I don't have work tomorrow either, so I already can see what's going to be happening. Twice an hour I'm going to be getting one of those "How do I..." phone calls. Hopefully, since my mother works as the secretary at my brother's shop, she'll be driving HIM nuts all day long, instead of me.

*Crosses fingers*

The joys of public restroom facilities

I went to the mall yesterday after work to get some gift cards and just generally look around. I was surprised -- there were a lot of people around, but it wasn't the normal insanity that I had expected. (In other words -- there were people everywhere, but they weren't all in my way.)

As soon as I went up to the second floor, my stomach began telling me that lunch wanted out. Nothing new, perfectly normal event there, but I wish it wouldn't tell me in public places all the time. No matter, I quickly found the nearest bathroom -- in Kaufmanns.

Only took me about five minutes or so to...ahem...take care of business, and I was about to stand up when someone came into the bathroom. Now, I dunno if there's anyone else like this, but I'm not one who leaves a stall while someone else is around. (I'm sure women aren't like this -- I get the impression that they're quite social in the bathroom. But with guys, it's not like that, prolly due to the epidemic of homophobia that a lot of guys have.) Anyway, I just prefer not to have an audience as I'm exiting the stall, so I just wait until this guy leaves.

Well, as he's at the urinal, I hear him....."Oh yeah. Oh that's good. Oh yeah.......Oh. Yeah..."

I just keep telling myself, "He just had to piss REALLY bad. Yeah. Just had to piss REALLY bad!"

Ugh.

Where'd ya get that safe?

Right before I left work this afternoon, I read in the news that there was a mini-crime wave in the city -- apparently a few banks were robbed within only a few hours of each other. I found this humorous, but really didn't give it another thought at the time.

Then, about 20 minutes into my drive home, I pass a truck on the freeway that had a safe strapped to the back of it. I just about drove off the road from laughing so hard.

Wha!

So I went to my webdomain control panel to check out my disk space situation, bandwidth usage, etc, since I haven't done it in awhile. Well, I see a little link that says, "Your account has received a free upgrade." Free? I like free. So I click on it to see what exactly they were giving me for free. I had to pick myself up off the floor:

- Disk space increased from 2GB to 20GB
- Monthly bandwidth increased from 100GB to 750GB
- MySQL Databases increased from 10 to 30

Fook!