Wednesday, December 21, 2011

It's an End-Of-Year Thing

Everyone comes out with Top 10 lists this time of year.  LICD even whined about it in their comic the other day.  I will admit it's rather cliched, but that's not going to stop me from doing it.  This isn't necessarily going to be a Top 10 list, though.  It's more going to be a summary of the gaming world as it was in the year 2011. Or in most cases, mindless ranting!

First of all, I played a -lot- of games this past year.  And here they all are.  Every single one of them, in the order in which they were released:

DC Universe Online

Dead Space 2
Magicka
Bulletstorm
Rift
Dragon Age 2
Homefront
Crysis 2
Portal 2
Darkspore
Brink
Terraria
Fable 3
The Witcher 2
Frozen Synapse
Hunted: The Demon's Forge
Red Faction: Armageddon
Alice: Madness Returns
Dungeon Siege 3
F.E.A.R. 3
Limbo
Bastion
From Dust
Deus Ex: Human Revolution
Dead Island
Hard Reset
Rage
Dungeon Defenders
LA Noire
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Minecraft
Batman: Arkham City
Serious Sam 3
Trine 2
Star Wars: The Old Republic
One more game is coming out this year that I'll get getting, but probably won't get around to playing until 2012:

Postal 3

So that's quite a long list of games.  There are several notable games that came out this year, which I did not play.  To name four:  Battlefield 3, Modern Warfare 3, Duke Nukem Forever and Assassin's Creed Revelations.  None of these games will be in the lists provided below...since I haven't played them.  But the fact that they didn't interest me enough to play should tell you enough about them, anyway.  I actually did buy ACR, and plan on playing it eventually.  The other three I didn't even bother to purchase.

Also, it's interesting that The Binding of Isaac isn't on this list, and I'm now wondering how many other indie titles I've missed listing here.  I mean -- this list you see above is from a website.  It's basically a "2011 in Gaming" page that lists all the games released throughout the year.  Edit:  Also, The Baconing isn't listed.  I've been writing this blog post over the past three days, and that one just came to me.

Now for me to make up some award categories based purely on the list in front of me.  I shall start with the worst.

Worst Game of the Year
Rift

This game has just been proclaimed "Game of the Year" by MMORPG.  I dub it worst game of the year.  Everyone proclaims the graphics are better than WoW.  I find them bland.  Everyone proclaims the leveling experience is better than WoW.  I find it boring.  Everyone claims the choices you get are more in-depth than WoW.  I find them to be the same.  It actually hurt to play it.  It's all well and good if you enjoy the game.  I didn't, though, and I will never say a good word about it.

I can hear the fanboys gnashing their teeth at me, and I don't care.  I think it's a WoW-clone with less love put into it, and I think it's a bad game.

Runner-up:  The Witcher 2
Boring with a clunky combat system.

Worst Implementation of Co-Op Gaming
Hunted: The Demon's Forge

Y U NO make a game that works?  Y U provide difficulty settings if they change nothing?  Y U make co-op game if the NPC version of your co-op partner will always be superior to a real player?

Worst Way to Port A Game
Microsoft (in their release of Fable 3)

Stop publishing games, Microsoft.  Right now.  Let someone else do it, and let them do it correctly.  Because you can't.  Ever.  Fuck off.

Most Over-Hyped Game
Brink

I heard about this game consistently for about six months up until its release.  And then I never heard from it again!  I can write a review for the game in one word:  "Blah"

Worst Release Date
Guild Wars 2.  BECAUSE IT'S NOT FUCKING RELEASED YET.

Things Gamers (or just humans in general) Need to Stop Saying (along with my response to such things)

  • You should be ashamed of yourself.  (Bitch, I'm me and there's no shame here.)  Context:  Self-Righteous gamers say this when a game developer or other such entity does something they find abhorrent.  For example:  Blizzard announcing the real money auction house for Diablo 3, which according to them is something even worse than a hate crime or even the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.
  • That's the final nail in the coffin for me.  (Can it be YOUR coffin?  Please?)  Context:  Over-dramatic gamers say this when a game developer makes a change.  Any change.  For example:  Blizzard announces a revamped talent system for Mists of Pandaria, and therefore according to them it's the straw that broke the camel's back and the game is now dead.  The seas will rise and flood mankind, the rings of Saturn will implode, and a black hole will swallow the galaxy (and have a nasty case of indigestion afterward).
  • I've lost all faith in...  (You've now also lost the game.  Bitch.)  Context: Over-exaggerating gamers will say this when they don't like something (anything (everything)).  For example:  The response to Dragon Age 2 means that, according to them, no one should believe in anything Bioware does ever again for all eternity.  
  • Whine.  Whine.  Whine.  (Stab.  Stab.  Stab.)  Context:  Everything ever in the history of the universe.
  • This sickens me.  (No you.)  Context:  Very similar to the whole "You should be ashamed..." thing.  
  • They are completely out of touch with their playerbase.  (Maybe they are just out of touch with YOU...and thank Crom for that.)  Context:  Very similar to the whole "Final nail..." thing.
  • I don't see how you could possibly like this...  (I can only imagine you are pointing to yourself.  If so, then ME NEITHER.)  Context:  Usually a response to someone stating their God given right to an opinion.  Used in a disparaging manner to make the other person feel bad for actually being an individual and enjoying something that the dumbass gamer didn't like.  In other words, they WANTED to say "You are in idiot for liking that."  TB is actually really bad at this, and I wish he'd stop.  He very often says, "This is bad and you're wrong if you disagree."  Such poor critiquing skills.
Alright, I'm done ranting.  I think.  Before I get to the "best" categories, there are a few things that are worth mentioning.  Basically, covering games which have been out longer than just since 2011, but are still relevant.
  • League of Legends saw a dramatic increase in players.  They still release a new champion every two weeks, update the game every week, and have no intention of letting their game grow stale.  If I awarded a "Best MMO" award (which I don't), this game wouldn't get it.  (Ha, fooled you!) But it would be right up there with the best of them.
  • Civilization V got a bunch of DLC packs and some tweaks.  It's one of the few games older than a year that I still pick up and play.  (Well, at least it was.  Until a certain game of the star-sy and war-sy variety came out.)
  • WoW is still the same.  That's a very important sentence, and it's a double-edged sword.  It's still the same -- which means it's still good.  Fantastic even.  It's also still the same -- which means you've done it all before and you may or may not have had enough.  It's going to be interesting to see where it goes after the next year.  I always refrain from saying "Blizzard needs to change WoW to make it interesting again." because the game is actually fine in the way it plays now.  There are MANY features in WoW that I wish TOR had.  For example:  Achievements, Dungeon Finder, and Transmogrify.  But...I feel like I've played WoW.  Does that sentence make sense to you?  I don't want to say "I feel like I'm done with WoW", because I don't know that.  So that's the next best line I can come up with.  It's just...it feels like I've done it all, and that feeling persists even when there's new content.  

Also, one more award!

Game that Would Have Done Better If It Hadn't Been Released Right Before TOR's Early Access Began
Batman: Arkham City

Do you hear me, Rocksteady?  If you'd released the PC version at the same time as the console version, I would have had enough time to play a lot of it, and it might have won an award.  But your inability to treat the PC gaming platform with respect has cost you any place on my list of best games.
And now, let's do some completely fabricated awards categories for good games! 

Best Soundtrack
BastionI dig my hole, you build a wall

I dig my hole, you build a wall

One day that wall is gonna fall

Gon' build that city on a hill

Gon' build that city on a hill

Someday those tears are gonna spill

So build that wall and build it strong, cause we'll be there before too long


Enough said.


Best Story
Oh for the love of the Nine, why must I make such a decision?  Fine.  It's Deus Ex.  There, I said it.  And before you have a stroke, let me explain why it's not Skyrim and why it's not LA Noire.

You have to understand what a story is to me:  It has a beginning, a climax (herp), and a conclusion.  And everything along the way is engaging, dramatic, exciting, and/or funny.  Skyrim does not get this award because Skyrim is TOO BIG.  Being able to put off the main storyline for as long as you could possibly want is an amazing feature and for Skyrim it needs to be there.  But it breaks the flow and it dilutes the drama.  And that's why it loses.  If this award was "Best Story World", or "Best Open World Game", then Skyrim would win.  LA Noire does not get this award because it's a bunch of mini-stories wrapped up in a game.  All of those mini-stories are brilliant, but you're trading one final, huge, amazing climax (HERP DERP) for all of those smaller ones.  Also, some of LA Noire's stories are kind of convoluted.  Therefore it loses.

Deus Ex did it correctly.  One great flowing story, start to finish.  There are twists and turns along the way.  Mystery.  Intrigue.  Even some funny moments, although the game is very brooding most of the time.  It's what -I- want in a story.  It drove me.  (Hard.  Herp.)

And before all the fucking "LINEAR IS BAD" whiners start whining, Deus Ex was not fully linear, anyway.  A linear story can exist within a non-linear game, and it's not a bad thing.  Do you know why I think all those kids who proclaim "LINEAR IS BAD!" think that way?  It's because their parents won't let them do everything they want, and they hate that.  And y'know, the self-entitled little twats don't even realize it's for their own good.  Same principle.  Just because you -can- do something doesn't mean you -should-.

(How was my cynicism there?  I've been working on it!  I feel like I should have a 1-800 number for people to call and share their comments.  Something like 1-800-Y-SO-SERIOUS.)

Best Co-Op
Again...for the love of the Nine, why are you making me do this?  Sigh.  Alright...It's obviously between Magicka and Portal 2.  Pros and cons?

Magicka has a lot more co-op content (read:  THE ENTIRE GAME).
Portal 2 has a better story.
Magicka's gameplay is a recipe for hilarious disaster.
Portal 2's puzzles are oh-so-satisfying to solve together.
Magicka has this charm to it that you really can't explain.
Portal 2 feels more robust and looks better.

Magicka is an indie game with a small budget, but it's still amazing.
Portal 2 is a mainstream game with a large budget, and it's also amazing.

Hmm.

Portal 2 wins.

The reason Portal 2 wins is due to a few minor things.  One, I -adore- the two co-op buddy robots.  They have so much personality, and it adds so much to the game.  As much as "SUPRENDAY!" makes me laugh, it just doesn't stack up to Atlas and Peabody.  Next, the great story makes up for the entire game not being co-op.  And finally, the quality Valve put into the game exceeds the amazing job the indie developers did with Magicka.  It's just that simple.

It's also interesting because I've played a hell of a lot more Magicka than I have Portal 2, and that isn't solely due to the amount of content.  Magicka is replayable because of how fun the possibility of disaster is.  That doesn't make it superior in my eyes, however.

Best Graphics

THESE ANSWERS ARE NOT GETTING ANY EASIER.

I can narrow it down to these:

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Rage
Crysis 2
LA NoireWhich one?  I -have- to pick one.  That's the whole point of these awards.  Crom!  

It's Skyrim.  It has to be.  And what's funny is that it's not because it's a superior graphics engine.   I don't believe that it is.  I think that id's new ID Tech engine is superior -- I really do.  Rage was GORGEOUS.  But it was in a post-apocalyptic world.   It limits you -- you can try to make a sewer as pretty as you can, but it's still a sewer.  Oh CROM that game was pretty...but Skryim is prettier because the WORLD of Skyrim is prettier.  It was designed to be.  (I just had a flashback of Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, when Jessica Rabbit tells Eddie, "I'm not bad...I'm just drawn that way.")  Skyrim beats Crysis 2 for the same exact reasons.  LA Noire is on the list simply because of that GLORIOUS lip-synching.  It's the greatest lip-synching in a game ever. More of that, please, Rockstar!

So I guess I would have to say that in regards to presentation (which is really what we're talking about here), Skyrim is the winner.  If we were talking from a technical standpoint, or from a CAPABILITY standpoint, then Rage would be the winner.  I actually look forward to seeing what other developers do with the id Tech 5 engine.  The results should be amazing.

Also, I should mention that TOR looks very pretty as well.  But it's nearly impossible to get an MMO to look as good as a single-player game.  It's just not logistically viable, which is a shame, but that's the way it goes.  I just thought I'd give it a mention here regardless, though.


Best WTF! Moments



  • Trying to kill an unkillable monster before realizing it was unkillable in Dead Space 2.  (Hey I heard you like unkillable monsters...)
  • Blowing up yourself again and again in Magicka.
  • Shooting someone in the ass in Bulletstorm...and getting an achievement for it.
  • The mage animations in Dragon Age 2.
  • The ending of Portal 2.
  • The first time you summon a boss in Terraria.
  • Re-building what you destroy in Red Faction: Armageddon
  • Pretty much every 27 seconds of Limbo.
  • Playing through Bastion when -that- music kicks in during a battle.  You know the one I mean.
  • The finishing moves of Deus Ex: Human Revolution.
  • Having a shotgun pulled out on you when simply questioning a shopkeeper in LA Noire.
  • FUS RO DAH!
  • "I can go ANYWHERE in Arkham City?!"
  • Keeping your trigger finger pressed down for ten full minutes in Serious Sam 3.
  • The ending of -any- story based questline in The Old Republic.

Scariest Game
Dead Space 2 or Limbo?  Jump Scares or Subtle Psychological Dread?

I choose Dead Space 2.


And if these choices weren't difficult before...

Best Shooter
Oh.  Fucking.  Hell.

Deus Ex is eliminated.  It has talent points and conversation choices.  Therefore it is an RPG!  So that leaves...Rage, or Serious Sam 3.

It has to be Rage.  It's simply a better game.  Serious Sam 3 is brilliant for what it is -- unadulterated fun.  I don't deny being thrilled by every minute of it.  But Rage is...well, it's an id shooter.  Serious Sam is meant to be a "budget title", and it's meant to be a love letter to shooters from the time when I first starting getting into shooters.  Rage was designed to push the envelope, which it sort of missed doing because it was released a bit late -- Borderlands and Fallout already did what it does.  But it's also it's own game, and it does things differently.  It stands on its own, and when it really comes down to it, I enjoyed it more than I enjoyed Serious Sam 3.

Best DLC
This is tough only because I don't actually have a full list of all the DLC I've gotten this year.  I can remember several.  If I had actually managed to play the Deus Ex DLC by now, it might actually win this award.  I think PC Gamer gave it a 90% score.  But I haven't.  Sorry Eidos!  Your timing was horrible.

There's also all that glorious Magicka DLC.  I've played those!

And, there's the Portal 2 DLC.  I haven't played those.  Crap!

Well, this is going to be a rather misconstrued award, isn't it?

In any case, my choice is Old World Blues for Fallout: New Vegas.  It wins by a narrow margin against The Lonesome Road DLC, also for Fallout: New Vegas.  OWB wins for a couple of reasons, but only two of them are worth mentioning.  First, it gave me a home, which I continued to use forever.  Second, it was freaking hilarious.

Best RPG
Oh boy!  Time for some good 'ol fashioned CONTROVERSY!  Surprisingly, this was an easy decision for me to make.

Star Wars: The Old Republic

Oh God, my ears are bleeding from the sounds of people threatening to shoot an arrow in my knee.

Okay, just stop for a minute.  What does RPG mean?  Role Playing Game.  It's you, the player, playing a role.  When I play Skyrim, it's all very cool and it's all very fun to play.  When I play TOR, I feel like I'm a Sith Lord.  Do you see the difference?  TOR does RPG better.

Next, the most important thing:  Skyrim had amazing stories, an amazing world, and so much content to explore.  It feels more -alive- than any of the planets I've seen so far in TOR.  BUT - after I defeated Alduin...nothing changed.  My decisions, my actions, my involvement didn't feel like they had any weight behind them.  Also, other quests and towns BROKE as I progressed through the game.  People who I murdered were still mentioned by the common-folk.  When I make a decision in TOR:  My companion treats me differently.  My skin might start to blemish.  My eyes might start to turn red.  People comment on how evil I am.  The storyline shifts in a different direction.  There is CONSEQUENCE.  There is REACTION.  My decisions change things.  THAT'S an RPG done as an RPG should be done.  And that is why TOR wins.

There are other things as well:

  • Establishing relationships with your companions based on the decisions you make as a character.
  • Implementing a bit of personality and interaction into the crafting aspect.
  • The promise of continuing your character's storyline for many YEARS, through the addition of new quests, new planets, and new content over the course of expansions to the MMO.  
  • A very good and established intellectual property with a clear division of good versus evil, which is then turned on its head to allow you to be good on the "evil" side or evil on the "good" side.  Mind = blown.  
  • A unique and engaging story for each class.

Game of the Year
Also an easy choice.  Relatively.

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

I know what you're thinking.  "How the fuck can you say Skyrim is game of the year, but not RPG of the year?  Raaaaaaaage."  Well that's quite a simple answer.  If I'm going to consider something to be the best RPG, it would have to be the best at the elements of an RPG.  Read what I stated under that category.  But, a game that is the best at being an RPG isn't necessarily the best GAME I've played this year.

Skyrim has its faults, but it provided me with the most engaging and enjoyable gaming experience this year.

What it has going for it:

  • Solid storylines.
  • A massive world filled with a mind boggling amount of places to explore, an infinite number of quests, dragons, and utterly gorgeous landscapes.
  • The ability to go anywhere and do whatever it is your want to do.
  • Combat that is very fun and diverse.
  • Lots and lots of things to do -- fighting, crafting, exploring, questing, stealing.
  • A single-player experience (more on this later).



And here's why it beat out other games that I really, really enjoyed this year. These explanations will also give you insight as to the games that I was also considering as the best.


It lost to Deus Ex: Human Revolution because of the exploration aspect of things.  Exploring in Deus Ex might lead you to a weapon cache or some praxis points.  Exploring in Skyrim leads you to a sprawling cave or dungeon with loads of monsters inside and piles of loot, and maybe even a quest or two.  I'm not being unfair to a linear game here -- I'm setting the bar for quality in a game that contains quests.  Deus Ex was a quest based game, not just a linear shooter.  Therefore, for it to beat Skyrim it would have to offer me superior quality in that regard.  It did not.


Now, in regards to The Old Republic, it was actually a very close race in my mind.  I'll try to explain what I was thinking about here, but I probably won't do a very good job.  The first thing is that I've only been playing TOR for about a week. With a game so big, that's not even close to enough time to form a final opinion on it.  That was one thing it had against it.  The next small thing was what I mentioned about a single-player experience.  I'm a very anti-social gamer, though not to the extent of Yahtzee.  I honestly get irritated leveling in an MMO when there are other people around me.  I just want them to fuck off so I can enjoy my game.  So you can see why Skyrim gained points with me here, with its single-player only experience that allows me to simply lose myself in the game without worrying about some fucking asshat jumping in front of me and tagging my kills.  I still had a hard time justifying this as a reason, though, given how often in TOR you enter an instance to quest.  But there are still plenty of open areas in the game, so other people are still an irritation sometimes, so my argument is valid.  In this same vein, I feel that TOR has too many group quests.  I know, I know, it's an MMO.  You're supposed to play it with other people.  Well, sometimes I don't wanna.  And actually, it's not even that -- it's that I don't care to play with complete strangers.  But I'll tell you what, this choice was still difficult.  I can't tell you the last time a game has made me feel like so much of a badass as TOR is making me feel.  I also can't tell you the last time I've been so IMMERSED in a game world.  Because of the Light Side/Dark Side choices and the Companion Affection points, I find myself actually thinking like my character as I'm playing the game.  It's incredible.


And it lost to Rage because it simply has tons more to offer.  There's really nothing else to say about it.  Everything that Rage did, it did perfectly.  Skyrim wasn't so perfect, but the sheer magnitude of the game makes up for it.
And now, to summarize, my top 5 games of the year, in order, are:



1. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
2. Star Wars: The Old Republic
3. Rage
4. Deus Ex: Human Revolution
5. Portal 2

And that ends what is probably the longest blog post I have ever written!  I dropped everything before this sentence into Word, and it's 4,095 words.  Heh.


Hm.  Let's see.  John, I know you're impatient, so this one's for you!  TL;DR:  Skyrim.

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