Signs

So this morning, I'm sitting in the weekly status meeting for one of our biggest customers. Typically that means nap time. Thankfully, I'm not the Project Manager so I don't have to do any talking (normally). (I'm the Conversion Manager, which basically means I get them up and running. My dealings with the senior management is nil.)

ANYway, these guys are pushing really hard to get their training complete, which entails two people from my office taking a trip to India in the near future (that being my boss and myself). Also, it requires another, shorter trip to Copenhagen even sooner (I think), which was going to be handled by just one person (my boss).

Naturally, as it goes with any corporate endeavor known to man, everything is constantly being delayed. Right now the biggest problem is that my boss has yet to get his passport even though he's applied for it a few weeks ago. And, on top of that, his was only a renewal. When I applied for mine, it was the first time I've ever had a passport, and I got it back in no time.

So on the call today, they asked when my boss was coming to Copenhagen to perform the training. The conversation went something like this:

"I plan on coming there as soon as I can. The only thing holding me back right now is that I have not yet gotten my passport. If I don't have it by the time my visit to your U.S. office is over, I will send Steve instead. He's with me on the call right now, and he's nodding."

I wasn't nodding. I was giving him the finger! Good thing it wasn't a video conference...

Though I will admit, a trip to Copenhagen sounds a LOT more appealing than the trip to India. The idea of having to do it myself, however, is NOT appealing at all. I've heard what the pubs are like. I would much rather be carried out by someone I know.

Hilarious...

Next Time He'll Ask for Grey Poupon

So I'm driving home from work a few days ago. It's a beautiful day. The sun is out, it's warm but not too hot, and I've got my window down and my stereo cranked.

I'm going down the highway, doing about 65-70, and I begin to notice a white car in the passing lane beside me. He wasn't passing me, he was actually just kind of keeping pace. I was noticing this out of the corner of my eye, and then I BARELY heard him yelling. I glance over, and sure enough he's looking over and yelling something at me. So, I turn off my stereo, and he repeats..

"Hey! Will this road take me to Ohio?!"

So, I yell back. "Yeah! Just keep following this road!"

Do you know how difficult it is to hear and talk to someone while you're both booking down a highway going 70 MPH? Quite difficult!

So he responds, "THANKS DUDE!", and was on his way.

What a strange situation THAT was.

This never happens!

The random cel banner is the same cel as the random cel of the moment.

That's certainly not in my contract.

As a single, self-respecting male entity, there are certain things I get to happily avoid in my life that my otherwise unfortunate, non-single counterparts must endure. Take hanging curtains for instance.

While a married individual would be obligated to see the project of hanging curtains from the actual purchase of said items all the way through to the sitting on the couch and admiring the finish product, I on the other hand need only partake in the hanging of the curtain rod itself, given that I'm the tallest and most qualified for that particular task.

My job ends there, but it didn't mean I wasn't going to hang around and quietly laugh to myself as I watched my sister endlessly adjusting the position of the curtains as my mother stood back and eyed them up.

"Fluff that end. Move that one down. Even that out. Fix that frill. Why is that all bunched up there? What happened in the middle? There's more on the right side. That one is backwards."


And on. And on. And on. Meanwhile, I sat on the couch with a beer, grinning endlessly.

Blog This

So my first blog in a good while is going to have a topic regarding blogging. Sorry about that. Anyway, I was reading the news earlier this afternoon and stumbled across the article about Ford Motors and President Bush. Apparently, the CEO of Ford had made a statement about preventing the president from blowing himself up by plugging a power cord into a hybrid car's hydrogen slot instead of the electricity slot.

As it turns out, the story was an utter fabrication.

That's not really my concern. What gets me is the media. As most people know, I have nothing but complete disdain for the media. They've now solidified my opinions. The media actually reported that they found it appalling how every news blog in the country talked about this story, and then lambasted all bloggers for not getting their facts straight beforehand.

Oh really? I have one thing to say to that...

Who declared Gore won the Presidential Election in 2000?

Mmm hmmm. There's a pretty good song by Korn called Hypocrite. I suggest all you reporters at CNN, CBS, NBC, FOX, and every other media assclown agency listen to it.

Has it been that long?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6515511.stm

The article itself really isn't that important; what I'm drawing attention to here is that this is the 20th annual. I distinctly remember watching the FIRST annual back in the day, and suddenly I feel old...