That's certainly not in my contract.

As a single, self-respecting male entity, there are certain things I get to happily avoid in my life that my otherwise unfortunate, non-single counterparts must endure. Take hanging curtains for instance.

While a married individual would be obligated to see the project of hanging curtains from the actual purchase of said items all the way through to the sitting on the couch and admiring the finish product, I on the other hand need only partake in the hanging of the curtain rod itself, given that I'm the tallest and most qualified for that particular task.

My job ends there, but it didn't mean I wasn't going to hang around and quietly laugh to myself as I watched my sister endlessly adjusting the position of the curtains as my mother stood back and eyed them up.

"Fluff that end. Move that one down. Even that out. Fix that frill. Why is that all bunched up there? What happened in the middle? There's more on the right side. That one is backwards."


And on. And on. And on. Meanwhile, I sat on the couch with a beer, grinning endlessly.

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