Every so often, life gives you a story so perfect, it would just be a fucking crime if you didn't tell it immediately. So here it is...one of the greatest stories I've had to tell in a long time.

We've been having trouble with our air conditioning here at the office, and it's been quite warm here in my section of the building. So much so, that Mark and I have resorted to using fans at our desks. Finally, we did enough complaining to our bosses that they talked to the building supervisor about it, who thus called the central healing/cooling maintenance company.

This company sent us a repair guy, who is everything you would expect from a typical repair guy: Unkempt, fat, ugly, with saggy pants. All the trimmings.

After playing with the thermostat on the wall to listen for the pathetic clicking of the damper, Mr. Willie (seems like a good repair guy name) determined that the place he needed to work was directly above my desk. Of course it was.

So I had to vacate my cubicle while this clown moved all the things on my desk so that he could stand on it, and watched as he knocked my calendar, bulletin board, and phone list off the wall. He ended up sitting on the tall divider between Mark's cube and my own, and if the fat bastard would have fell and went over Mark's side, Mark would not have survived, I'm quite sure of that.

About 20 minutes of him working up in the ceiling go by, with me 2 cubes away at Danielle's desk chatting with her. All the while, I can hear such mumbles from the ceiling as "Oh, that's not good.", and "That's not supposed to be like that.", and "I hate it when that happens."

Then, all of a sudden, one of the padded panels that makes up my cube gave under the weight of Mr. Willie. His leg slipped and he was now straddling this divider between our cubes in a position that can only be defined as the epitome of where you wouldn't want to find yourself if you had a pair of testicles. His face started contorted and turning an interesting shade of purple. He looked like he was on the brink of passing out before he looked down at Mark and gasped, "My ball!!!"

And from that point forward, he was then referred to as Mr. Willie-One-Nut.