Tuesday, December 05, 2006

The Exorcism of Rate Builder

Among many of the job titles I have at work, one of them is Product QA Analyst. Which, naturally, is a glorified term for "tester". We have a product called ORB, which has an SQL structure and a web-based front end.

We're releasing a new version soon, going from 6.1 to 6.2. Anyone who works in the software industry knows that when it comes to software versions, a number change directly to the right of the decimal point signifies significant changes. Oh joygasm.

A fellow tester and myself were given 14 test cases, so 7 each. 9 of these 14 failed. I swear, it was like something out of a horror movie.
The script would look something like this:

Me: Hello ORB, how are you today?
ORB: Just fine thanks! I've been upgraded with many new features!
Me: That's great! Let's try the first one, shall we?
ORB: Yes, just press this button, and I will perform the function flawlessly.

*I press the button*

ORB: YAAAAAARGH! LET JESUS FUCK YOU! MMMMMMRAAAAAAARGH!
Internet Explorer: ¡SOY MUERTO!

*Internet Explorer dies*

ORB: RAAAAAAARGH! YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL! GRRRRRRRRAAGHR!
Windows: AIEEEEEEE!!!!!!

*windows dies*

ORB: GRAAAAAAAAGHRGH! TSEIRP EHT REAF! RRRRAWWWWWRGH!

*ORB's head spins around completely*


Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find a debugger. (Which translates to "GET ME A BLOODY PRIEST AND SOME HOLY WATER! WE NEED A FUCKING EXORCISM HERE!")

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