A Supermarket Story

So it's been quite a while since I've last made a Supermarket Story post.  I'm sure you've missed them.

The other night, I stopped for groceries on my way home from work.  Among the things I needed was cat litter.  When I need to get that, I usually avoid the self-checkout lane.  With the weight of the litter, I always have problems and end up needing a cashier anyway.  So I just go through a normal check-out lane when I have a big, heavy box of litter.

This particular night, my cashier was this early-20-something dork with thick glasses.  Now, I'm not one to judge -- I was a dork with thick glasses up until I was 18.  But, sadly, this guy totally realized the stereotype that I had etched out in my mind.  As he's scanning my items, he gets to my bottle of fabric softener.  It's then that he says, "Oh, fabric softener.  I have never used that.  I don't even know what it does."  I'm pretty sure that I was able to hide my look.  You know the look.  It's the one that basically says, "Wow, you're a fucking idiot."  I'm very good at speaking without words.  But, I hid that look, and simply replied, "It softens your fabric."  I said this without any sarcasm.  I swear!

To this, he replied, "Oh, my jeans get pretty soft after I wear them for a month."

I said nothing to this, because I'm an intelligent human being who knows when to keep his mouth shut in order to avoid receiving any more useless and unwanted information.  Unfortunately, the woman behind me in line was not this type of person, and replied, "Ew, what does that smell like?"

And, naturally, the Cashier-el-Dorko replied, "It smells manly!"

I'm pretty sure this was the fastest I have ever said the words, "Noneedtobagthemilkorfabricsoftenerthankyougoodbye."