Preachy

So I was reading about this new game, right? It's called "Left Behind: Eternal Forces". Nifty title, no? Well, allow me to explain the plot. Hold on to something...

The rapture has taken place. (For the un-educated, the rapture is an event predicted by the bible where all the born again Christians vanish suddenly from earth up to heaven.) Those left behind must battle the anti-christ, who has seized control of the United Nations.

Now, that really doesn't sound too bad. It could actually be interesting, because you're thinking this is end-of-the-world, armageddeon type stuff. ("Dogs and cats, living together. Mass hysteria!") Yes, there's potential there.

Allow me to ruin it for you.

So here's the gameplay:

You start the game recruiting followers off the streets with sermons and singing. Yes, you read that correctly. Then you train your followers. (The women can only be singers or nurses. Take that, Nancy Pelosi!)

If someone were to resurrect Pope Pius XXXVI and told him to make a video game, this is probably what the result would have been.

Oh, and I shouldn't forget to mention that the anti-christ's followers fight you with violence and....rock music.

God may not be a vengeful God, but I'm sure he's regretting making that promise after seeing this abomination...