A lot of people ask me why I feel it needs to be tradition for me to get fucking wasted over the holidays. While most of the time I simply tell them, "Because I want to get fucking wasted, what other reason do I need?", that is not entirely accurate.
One of the reasons is, that because every member of my family is quite insane, I *NEED* to be fucking wasted. After I get through the days leading up to Christmas, I need to just numb my brain to the point where I don't know what the fuck is going on, because I'll enjoy myself much more when I do that.
Every year, someone (if not EVERYONE), in my family throws a hissy fit over some small, MEANINGLESS detail, and it's usually up to me to bring them to their senses and calm them down so that the holiday can continue cosily. Most of the time, it's my mother that throws the hissy fit, because she is much more insane than anyone else in my family. (Which provides even further evidence to my suspicions about being adopted.)
I'm not going into details on what exactly happened, and it doesn't even MATTER what happened, because it was so fucking stupid it's not even worth talking about. All that matters is that I fixed it, and now pouring myself a large glass of Captain Morgan's.
The holiday has officially begun.
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