Time for reflection on the things that happened these past 364 days, and strive for a more prosperous and peaceful world......
Yeah, you go ahead and do that. Meanwhile, I'll be getting shitfaced. Party starts in 2 hours.
Saturday, December 31, 2005
PGA Tour........OWNED
I won two PGA tournaments in a row now -- Troon North and Kapalua. Next up.....Pebble Beach.
Where the hell have I been?
Eh, around. I've been addicted to Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2006, been playing that for hours on end leaving little time for much else. Then when I'm not doing that, I'm watching some of the new DVD's or reading some of the new books I got for Christmas. So, being online has come down to only looking for downloads and that's it.
Now I think I need to go give Stubbs the Zombie a try -- what could be more fun than playing a computer game where YOU'RE the zombie?
Now I think I need to go give Stubbs the Zombie a try -- what could be more fun than playing a computer game where YOU'RE the zombie?
Sunday, December 25, 2005
The fat bastard in the red suit went overboard again...
Crazy son of a bitch, look what he did to my tree!
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!
Saturday, December 24, 2005
The gift that keeps on giving...
So as most people know by now, because my mother is quite insane and takes on waaaaaay more than she can handle during the holiday season, I'm constantly helping her out with various holiday tasks. One such task is helping in the baking of the Christmas cookies.
The ones that I make are the nut rolls, the peanut butter balls, and the lady locks. This year, however, she took the lady locks off of her cookie list, which made me very happy because I hate making (and eating!) those gross mother fuckers.
However, unbeknownst to me, my asshole of a brother-in-law (I mean that in the most loving way possible. He *is* my drinking buddy after all) really pissed on that parade. Someone where he works wanted lady locks, so he talked my mother into making a batch. Which meant I had to fill the fuckers.
So, given that fact, I decided I needed to give him a REALLY, REALLY special Christmas present, to let him know exactly what I thought about that. Click the link below to see said gift. However, I will warn you ahead of time: the gift is a 8x10 picture of my ass.
If that's not something you wanna see, I would suggest you skip clicking the link. Really. I'm serious. It's a picture of my ass, for Christ's sake.
http://www.pastatdude.com/blog/ass.jpg
The ones that I make are the nut rolls, the peanut butter balls, and the lady locks. This year, however, she took the lady locks off of her cookie list, which made me very happy because I hate making (and eating!) those gross mother fuckers.
However, unbeknownst to me, my asshole of a brother-in-law (I mean that in the most loving way possible. He *is* my drinking buddy after all) really pissed on that parade. Someone where he works wanted lady locks, so he talked my mother into making a batch. Which meant I had to fill the fuckers.
So, given that fact, I decided I needed to give him a REALLY, REALLY special Christmas present, to let him know exactly what I thought about that. Click the link below to see said gift. However, I will warn you ahead of time: the gift is a 8x10 picture of my ass.
If that's not something you wanna see, I would suggest you skip clicking the link. Really. I'm serious. It's a picture of my ass, for Christ's sake.
http://www.pastatdude.com/blog/ass.jpg
Friday, December 23, 2005
Tis the season to be drunk...
A lot of people ask me why I feel it needs to be tradition for me to get fucking wasted over the holidays. While most of the time I simply tell them, "Because I want to get fucking wasted, what other reason do I need?", that is not entirely accurate.
One of the reasons is, that because every member of my family is quite insane, I *NEED* to be fucking wasted. After I get through the days leading up to Christmas, I need to just numb my brain to the point where I don't know what the fuck is going on, because I'll enjoy myself much more when I do that.
Every year, someone (if not EVERYONE), in my family throws a hissy fit over some small, MEANINGLESS detail, and it's usually up to me to bring them to their senses and calm them down so that the holiday can continue cosily. Most of the time, it's my mother that throws the hissy fit, because she is much more insane than anyone else in my family. (Which provides even further evidence to my suspicions about being adopted.)
I'm not going into details on what exactly happened, and it doesn't even MATTER what happened, because it was so fucking stupid it's not even worth talking about. All that matters is that I fixed it, and now pouring myself a large glass of Captain Morgan's.
The holiday has officially begun.
One of the reasons is, that because every member of my family is quite insane, I *NEED* to be fucking wasted. After I get through the days leading up to Christmas, I need to just numb my brain to the point where I don't know what the fuck is going on, because I'll enjoy myself much more when I do that.
Every year, someone (if not EVERYONE), in my family throws a hissy fit over some small, MEANINGLESS detail, and it's usually up to me to bring them to their senses and calm them down so that the holiday can continue cosily. Most of the time, it's my mother that throws the hissy fit, because she is much more insane than anyone else in my family. (Which provides even further evidence to my suspicions about being adopted.)
I'm not going into details on what exactly happened, and it doesn't even MATTER what happened, because it was so fucking stupid it's not even worth talking about. All that matters is that I fixed it, and now pouring myself a large glass of Captain Morgan's.
The holiday has officially begun.
Thursday, December 22, 2005
People are stressin' out...
I went to Wal-Mart after work today to get some things I'll need for the weekend, and it's good to see that the holiday is starting to get to everyone. Mass hysteria!
I will admit, though, that people seem to be remaining pleasant with each other -- and they're using Merry Christmas. (The SHOPPERS, not the workers.)
Then, there are the check-out people. The one I had this evening must really, really hate her job, because she wasn't happy at ALL. She put my bottle of Formula 409 in a bag, and set it on top of the bagging apparatus. I leave it sit there for several seconds, and she goes, "See, this is how it works, you take the bags I put there and I'll put the next one up."
I look at her like she has a cock on her forehead, but oblige and put this bag THAT HAS 1 FUCKING ITEM IN IT, and I put it in my cart. Next, she packs three sweaters and two pairs of jeans into a bag, and sets that up. I go to take it, and she nearly slaps my hand and goes, "I'm going to put more in that one."
I had a 20 lb. jug of kitty litter in my other hand. She's very lucky I didn't clock her with it.
I will admit, though, that people seem to be remaining pleasant with each other -- and they're using Merry Christmas. (The SHOPPERS, not the workers.)
Then, there are the check-out people. The one I had this evening must really, really hate her job, because she wasn't happy at ALL. She put my bottle of Formula 409 in a bag, and set it on top of the bagging apparatus. I leave it sit there for several seconds, and she goes, "See, this is how it works, you take the bags I put there and I'll put the next one up."
I look at her like she has a cock on her forehead, but oblige and put this bag THAT HAS 1 FUCKING ITEM IN IT, and I put it in my cart. Next, she packs three sweaters and two pairs of jeans into a bag, and sets that up. I go to take it, and she nearly slaps my hand and goes, "I'm going to put more in that one."
I had a 20 lb. jug of kitty litter in my other hand. She's very lucky I didn't clock her with it.
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